I cant help it I’m addicted! Every time one of these things comes on to TV (which seems to be at any point of the day when networks cant be bothered to run a show) I’m glued to them. And the worst thing is I actually think the products will make my life better – “hey if I had a set of Ginsu knives I TOO could cut through cans!” Everything about these things makes me laugh = “just 7 easy payments of $59!!!” is my all time personal favorite. My faves of the moment are an electric oven thing that can cook a whole chicken and has trays to cook another 15 or so foods that have no relation – so the Infomercialist has a nice cooked chicken, a tray of custard and some boiled peanuts. Another is Anthony Robbins the self-help guru guy who couldn’t look more Republican if he tried – huge, smarmy, preppy, and loaded off other peoples money. I like the fact that his one message can supposedly give you confidence, help you lose weight, help you stop smoking, walk on water, heal the sick, deflect bullets and levitate all in one go. I particularly like the tears he sheds whenever someone says “I thankyou so much, I used to be afraid of gerbils, but my new confidence has allowed me to be sexually involved with many of them now!” or “after just one page of your book (at the record low price of $60!) I was able to perform thorasic surgery – and I cant even read!” The worst thing is I’ve read one of his books and it’s like all the others (see Dr Phil, Carnegie, Professor Youwontsuckifyougivemefiftydollars) and they do convince you that you aren’t a pathetic loser, and that in fact everybody else is. A few other infomercials are the staples – stuff like Oxyclean (to give you the cleanest Ox in town!) or a George Forman grill that can grill one lima bean in about 5 hours. But hats off to Canadian TV for providing the weirdest one I’ve seen – TV Stripper – watch a woman writhe up and down a pole as if she is a dog with mange (and not stripping may I add) and for just $20 you can – well - I don’t know – I’m thinking of sending in money to buy her a flea collar.
Yeah but Billy Mays is Infomercial King.
Nothing beats the infomercial for the Ronco Showtime Rotisserie oven. They cook all these great foods that I like and only get at restaurants once in a blue moon.
I had to stop watching the channel it was on - I came so close to sending in my three easy payments for something I would probably use once and then never more.
Still, apart from Ron Popeil, Billy Mays is tops for selling you stuff you probably don't need.
Sorry I've got to disagree on Billy Mays....he has this effect on me like my finger twitch and change the channel. I think it's something to do with that over-macho raspy voice.
surely Scramble you jest?
Can I not interest you in the 'Ding King'?
or how about some Orange Glo?
The ads for the "God Botherers" singing does my head in. It's not so much happy clapping as having folks in some kind of hypnotic trance swaying along to the music like corn ears in the breeze! I can't get to sleep some nights as it's going around in my head and it's really starting to annoy me. evil
Debs x smile
(PS, Lucy came downstairs the other day saying that two men in white suits were coming down the path so I told her to hide until they'd gone. It was more than likely the Mormons come back to attempt to convert us!)
Apropos of infomercials, has anyone else caught these two there's a 30-min one for Girls Gone Wild Doggystyle which is basically semi-nekkid chicks with Snopp Dogg (that I happened to catch on FSW at 3.30 one morning) and the one with Ron Jeremy and a bunch of silicon enhanced faux-blondes pushing assorted marital aids? I thought it was some elaborate spoof at first...
And as for Christian commercials, the one that really really REALLY annoys me is one that runs during Wheel of Fortune and starts with Sgt Barry Sadler saying "I wasn't the only soldier who put in my time during Vietnam," then the commercial launches into Christy Lane pimping white-folk-gospel? That whole thing annoys me on so many levels. mad mad mad
The really good thing about never watching TV is that I don't have to watch those darned infomercials either! wink
I haven't seen an ifomercial for quite a while but I have seen commercials by Billy Mays. I refuse to buy anything from a person who shouts at me! I've also seen commercials for that Girls Gone Wild video at about 3.00 o'clock in the morning. And they blur the shots of the women showing their *****. How patronising can they get>
On 2003-07-04 13:46, VegasRudeBoy wrote:
And as for Christian commercials, the one that really really REALLY annoys me is one that runs during Wheel of Fortune
Look, if you're watching Wheel of Fortune you deserve everything you get ...
Billy Mays needs a flea collar for that big beard. Bet he didn't oxyclean that
I love the one for Petmeds where the women shows her dog the parcel thats just arrived.
"look fido your drugs and new rectal probe have arrived"
Who is the sickly looking bloke who tries to sell fitness programs on informercials?
He has the washboard abs and is quite muscly but on his skinny little frame, it looks quite disgusting.
Clearly no one told him about proportion when he was pumping iron/taking steroids etc.
At one point, you couldn't change channel here without getting the Bowflex adverts. I think it was marketed from somewhere up in Washington.
Yeah, I'm also addicted to the Ronco Rotisserie ad and have been very tempted to grab my credit card and dial the toll free number. The food just looks so good on that ad...my stomach always starts to rumble when that ad is on..no matter what time of day. And all you have to do is "set it and forget it"...genius!
My other favourites are any ones featuring Chef Tony..the Miracle Blade III one in particular.
Also the Time Life 60's Collection ad presented by Davy Jones of The Monkees fame and some anonymous woman. "All those great 60's favourites all on one CD collection for the first time"...and then they scroll the tracklisting and you've only heard of about 20% of the songs.