British Expatriate Network

My sister, bless her has gone loopy – She was H1b working in CA. She married a Columbian guy (not US citizen) and had 2 kids. He then fell behind on INS paperwork and faced deportation, she decided she didn’t want to be with him anymore and rather than go to Columbia, she promised him UK residency if he paid for the move to the England and she would send for him once there. Only she had other ideas and went into hiding leaving him stuck!

Now I don’t know my sister well as we have been estranged for a good 10yrs. But she is no angel and has done similar before, she cut her first kids grandparents off from their grandson when moved to US in 2001. Sucks because they made it possible for her to finish school as they provided all the childcare she needed for the 4 year degree and even worse his grandfather died 2 years ago without seeing his grandson again.

Not to mention cut me off in 1998, that was partly my fault she got in with ex UK commando now commercial diver, Problem was he was nice guy but could be complete nutcase too if crossed. He was a bit of a local king pin. All would have been fine but when he was away in the gulf on diving jobs she would cheat on him and she wasn’t discrete about it. I made the mistake of criticizing her reckless behavior and got cut off from my nephew. Shouldn’t have said a word! I know none of my business. I honesty thought he would have killed her if he found out. Well He did find out he return from a trip 2001, she was gone along with a good chunk of his money.

So I know it wouldn’t be fair just to assume this Columbian guy is an idiot and deserved it. However she is a mess but she’s a family mess so I have not helped him any but I am concerned that she may have gone a little too far because of the Haige convention between UK & USA that puts unresolved custody issues in the courts where the couple lived together – this case Ca. My worry is that she may be extradited back ca and penalized for being her nasty lying self.

She a pain and the guy should have known better but my concern is for the kids it must be hell for them? Does anyone know anything about the Haige convention or have some legal experience with international custody. Someone who could throw some light on how likely she is to have to return to US? And could she lose the kids because of her deception?

Many thanks

ooh, eek, don't know, hope someone else does. Is she concerned about this? Is the guy making noises about it right now? How do the kids feel about their dad? Are they in contact? Those are probably more me being nosy that essential questions, although I would like to think their feelings would be taken into account in a custody battle.

They are just toddlers - I so disappointed with whole distasteful situation. She is cutting him off and he tells me he is back Ca pursuing this through the courts.

I don't know how they feel - Hoping their too young to realise fully, her daughter is barely 2 and her son must 4-5 so he maybe more aware. I hope it does leave the scares it left on us.

we both grew up difficult single parent environment - our mother is quite infamous for her poor choices. Don't understand why she would want to put them through this. She agreed to share custody at mediation then bolted. Worried there is reason for this and maybe she's the bad guy not him. He seem to have acted thinking he was doing the best for his children and hoping to make fresh start in the UK, he handed them over. If he was so bad surely she would used the Ca courts to get full custody before bringing them home to UK.

Anyone have any idea of international custody or similar cases would be very much appreciated.

Apologize for putting this up but it has almost therapeutic to get it out there...

regards

Don't apologise -that's what we're here for. We do sympathy quite well. Also we do ridicule, but that costs more ;)