The "Are you Happy in the USA?" thread got me thinking (yes, I know, a dangerous pastime lol ) - how have you changed since you left the UK?
I don't mean in age and the normal changes you would expect with getting older/more mature. But those changes that you don't believe would have happened if you had stayed in the UK.
I know for me it is being more confident in my own abilities, and in my marriage. I always felt very intimidated by hubby's family, that they would always have the last word. Moving to another country has proven to me that that isn't the case - at least no more. I still wonder if that is something that has changed also - hubby is more able to not be influenced so much by his family because he hardly sees them or keeps in touch.
I have more confidence in myself, I'm able to stand up for what I believe is right rather than someone making me doubt myself. This confidence has also rubbed off on how I am as a mum too. I have more control over the children and our lives without interference from grandparents. Our older two are the eldest in the family on both sides and when I think back to the 'who can see the grandchildren more' attitude that went on just makes me even more pleased we have moved so far away.
I sold my house, resigned from my job, got married, left England and became a parent between my 35th and 37th birthdays. I can't seem to separate the "since I left the UK" part from the "since I was young" part, or the "since I got married" and "since I had children" parts.
I've changed enormously since I was 34 and single. I'm less confident in myself and less sociable. I laugh less and cry more. I am more lost in my own head than I was as a teenager and I worry more about what I can't control. I have no more dreams for the future and I aspire to nothing. I'm without motiviation and feel I am becoming old and useless. Too often I find myself reliving the past and wondering what would have happened if I had made different decisions or conducted myself differently in a given situation.
Yes, I have changed. It's a good thing my children love me.
Sorry you feel like that KG, reliving the past is never a good thing.
I live through my children, they make me think that there is nothing I can't do.
I'm so much more here than I was in the UK, but that may be because I have reinvented the new me. I didn't really, but it felt like it starting a new life and all that.
Having no one to a have a proper belly laugh with takes its toll.
I think we all change a certain amount as we get older so it's possible that we would have changed from how we were at the age we left to the age we are now without leaving. Does that make sense??? roll
The problem is we will never know one way or another wink
That took too much thought...I need a cup of tea roll
we all change and to some extent change our opinions , diferant situations and experiance allow us to do that .
Ive always been fiesty and enjoy a good discussion not looking for it but never shying away when the time to speak up presents itself .
i never was and never will be pc .
i have a happy face smile mostly and , only time i felt like crying was 3 years ago when my cat died .
i do reminice im told its a tread that becomes more and more part of your every day life as you become older ....
I always have had goals . and ideas i want to achieve , mostly now they revolve around getting healthier , losing wieght and being the best i can be in what ever situation i find myself in that day
each day i wake im happy its a brand new day for me to enjoy ...
poeple wishing they wouldnt wake up cus the burdon everyday life if to heavy to bear ,must be hard i dont understand that and feel lucky i dont share there unhappiness
its getting late im tired and rampling
i
Yes, I got a suntan, I had my own business, I have a bigger yard so I can experiment more with heirloom vegies, although it took them a few years to get that going here, but it has increased my knowledge of heirlooms.
If anything it added more experience which made me even more liberal. Less tolerant, which may be age, but more liberal and much happier following my own path than I would have been allowed to be within my social circle back home.
Mind we came over at 40 which is reputedly the mid life crisis time.
I think we all change a certain amount as we get older so it's possible that we would have changed from how we were at the age we left to the age we are now without leaving. Does that make sense??? :roll:
The problem is we will never know one way or another :wink:
That took too much thought...I need a cup of tea :roll:
Yes, I do understand :) But I do think there are some things that moving changed you that wouldn't have happened if you hadn't moved to another country. Like, for example, I feel, in a very small way, that I now have some sort of understanding in the immigrant communities in the UK and why they stick together. It wasn't that I didn't have patience before, but more that it wasn't something I was interested in, if that makes sense. Moving and knowing what it is like to not have those things you are familiar with surround you can be hard, and then add a foreign language in. I'm sure I've never been anything but polite and kind to anyone I meet but I would make more of an effort to be friendly :)
Personality-wise, I've not changed. I do have more appreciation for things that were easily accessible in the UK (that I took for granted when I lived there, of course!), which are not so easily accessible here. Also, like Ben, I now have a better understanding of why expat communities in the UK prefer to stick together.
The "Are you Happy in the USA?" thread got me thinking (yes, I know, a dangerous pastime :lol: ) - how have you changed since you left the UK?
I eat better, I'm lean, fit and tanned, I have so much self-confidence I can appear a trifle overbearing and boorish, I've learned to target-shoot, I've learned to drive an automatic, and I'm a lot more charming.
And I'm way happier.
Like, for example, I feel, in a very small way, that I now have some sort of understanding in the immigrant communities in the UK and why they stick together.
I feel a lot more tolerance for the immigrant thing now, way more than when I was a kid.
/Stranger In A Strange Land regards
Oh Kentgirl you worry me - you sound so unhappy with life?
Changed? Well I've lived stateside longer than I did in my homeland, so of course I've changed, but it's also growth with age and experience of life.
I do admit I have wondered in my recent years, what I would have been like if I'd stayed in England and married my boyfriend from there, and not met my husband. wink
But, life is grand, I've travelled, I'm more outgoing, outspoken, opinionated, have much more self confidence than I ever had in my younger years, and yes I'm like Vegas I can be overbearing too, but I get the job done. Thanks to all our travels, my life has been broaden greatly with all kinds of experiences.
I figure I've reached the stage of my life where you get what you see! it's me, and I don't make any excuses for it. 8)
I'm also passionate about life! Our lives are made up of choices and experiences, and from them all I am who I am today...
Now whether living in America has done that I'm not sure, cause I've also lived in other countries too...
I think it all comes down to how you live your life, and how you look at life. Thankfully mine is grand...
I've changed. I don't want to sound effeminate, but in a sense, I'm like a flower that found a good environment here and blossomed, much more than I would have, back in the UK. Ive posted about the class system that was there, and received some derisory comments, although they were reasonable for people who hadn't walked in my shoes. The class system was more covert than overt, it was institutionalised. Through the whole of my schooling, we were not told we could improve ourselves, the expectation was that the class you're in, is the class you stay in. When I came here, I found people who had been told that there were no limits, everyone had the potential to be a CEO, or perhaps President. So I took the opportunity. Even, if the class system has gone away in the UK, I doubt if I would have seen it if I had returned, it took coming here to open my eyes to the opportunities.
I'm way, way more positive here than I was in the U.K.
When I visit, I find I have to tone down the "no problem" attitude and become more (mumbling) "alright mate?"
I'm self-employed and find people here are much more encouraging while I found people in London were concerned I didn't have a "proper" job, sometimes with snobbery attached.
I'm also much more health-conscious. I've become quite an intolerant non-smoker (sorry VRB) and I tried very hard not to be last time I was over, but found it difficult with some friends. I found I had lost the 'drinking to get pissed' attitude as well. Now I've actually given up drinking.
On the other hand, I think I've become much more neurotic (purell at the ready). I'm probably a bit more false than I was and could do with a lot more English cynicism.
I think my changes mainly are related to age. I am chronically aware of how little I have achieved and how few things I have done. There is definitely a feeling that when I am gone no-one will ever know I was here.
I feel I haven't contributed to society and I feel my job is compeltely pointless which can be quite disconcerting when you spend 2/3 of your life doing it.
I am more tolerant, patient, kinder.
Having moved away from home and lived here for 7 1/2 years I know what is really important to me and what I really want, which is to be back home with my family. Also at the exact same time I realize that I have a family and life here and you rarely get what you want.
Overall I am a bit disappointed with the way my life has turned out and want to do it over again...