British Expatriate Network

In 1993 when air travel was slightly easier, there was no internet for the average woman at home. To get a good rate for international phone calls you had to play all the long-distance carriers against each other for the best deal. We were delighted to find we could get calls to the UK for as little as 13c per minute! To communicate with those back home I wrote lengthy letters by hand until I purchased a Brother Word processor /typewriter. Then I typed and printed out typed letters to people. I invented the "Christmas Newsletter" because I had so much to say to so many people that I couldn't write separate letters to all, so I used to WP to change beginnings and endings of letters and personalise them.

I fretted about not knowing where to go or what questions to ask. I wanted the Citizens Advice Bureau and an informative public library. Much later I was to look in vain to the local churches for "playgroups" for the sproglets. I had no idea even then, how very different it is here than it was back there.

As the British half of a British-American marriage I soon found life frustrating. At the end of my first week here I made my first solo drive to the supermarket with ice and snow piled up either side of the road, in a (then) 18-year-old Chevy. It took me over tow hours to shop for two people because everything was so unfamiliar to me and I couldn't find the Persil, the Imperial Leather or the Fairy Liquid. Everything was weird. I was always told not to say this or that because Americans wouldn't understand or would misinterpret (especially when I told my husband that I had been diddled in the supermarket!).

Before the internet I had to fend for myself. I became addicted to PBS "Mystery" and "Masterpiece Theatre" as being the only decent thing on television and in the daytimes I watched talk shows all day. I had no friends and no contact with anyone but my husband and people he introduced me to. I had the tv, occasional phone calls and my letters.

After two years we moved to our own house and I got to know my neighbours. One became the closest I had to a friend since leaving England, but I had to continue to adjust my vocabulary and my speech to suit my American listeners and be careful not to offend. Then in 1999, after the birth of our third child I became a US citizen and we went to the Netherlands for a year.

My life over those seven years wasn't so tough but there were many times that I missed being able to be myslef and in fact I no longer was myself - I was "fitting in" as best I could.

After a year in Europe I returned determined that if the neighbours were not going to seek me as a friend, then I would be a friend to them. The original friend-neighbour had moved away so I had to start again. I began by making it a point to phone at least one person every day - sometimes a neighbour, sometimes a friend in the UK, but I was determined that my loneliness was to be a thing of the past. A few months later I made my first Brit friend in town and I started to come alive again - with no trouble at all we started off as if we were already old friends. It was a delight and a relief to have found REAL freedom of speech.

The same year we got The Internet. I discovered how it all worked, I found websites and online communities, I made two new American friends online - one in Nebraska and one in Kansas - and just after 9/11 I found Britnet. Britnet, believe it or not, gave me new-found confidence. I was not suffering alone. I soon learned that Brits married to Brits had an easier time than I had because at home they could be themselves and had a shared history of Britishness. I also found that finally I could share my reminiscences with people who knew what I was talking about. It was WONDERFUL.

With my new confidence I took the bull by the horns and started inviting my neighbours to a monthly coffee morning at my house. We are now in the 5th year and they are still going strong. Sometimes the Brits even outnumber the yanks! I have made some good real-life and cyber- friends through Britnet and the internet in general.

I miss fewer and fewer things that I left behind. British products I craved for years can be purchased at a click. I can catch up on British soaps online if I so desire, I can IM and email all my friends and relatives and there is nothing but the land itself and the people I grew up with that I miss.

Before the internet, even in the 1990s it was not always a picnic being the only Brit, but now it's fine. I have my local Brits and my cyber Brits with all their quirks to remind me that I am actually quite normal. Thanks Britnet and Britnet friends. You restored my sanity.

Now then, everyone, share your own pre-internet story.........











footnote: We still have the Chevy - it's now 32 years old, but thankfully I no longer have to drive it!

Before the internet I had to buy cds, movies, videogames and pornography....

/outside voice off

Wow Kentgirl that's an interesting story of your life before the internet.

I've sat here trying to remember that far back. razz

The questions I've come up with are Was I more organised? Did I get all my housework completed? Did I call family and friends more on the phone? Did I go visit people in person more? etc...

The answers are No, no, no, no, no, and no... mrgreen

I did do more handwriting, personal letters etc. But then the keyboard took over my fingers, and to be honest I am on it continuously cause it helps keep arthur ritis from flaring up, he can become quite annoying at times.

I watched more television, and probably snacked more, therefore I gained lots of extra weight over the years. Now, instead of watching tv and eating, I keep my fingers busy on this keyboard in the evenings, with grand results, the weight is leaving...

Learning new things and finding things out was so much harder before the internet. You always had to call someone, or purchase a map or book. Now just click away on the keyboard.

I would have never met any of you, and would never have interacted with you mainly because I would not have known you were out there...

Sometimes I think all this technology, from computers to Ipods, to this dance crazy my granddaughter is doing with her PS2 is going over the edge. But when I think back to watching my parents generation, and the types of dancing they did, and played cowboys and indians myself, I'm thankful all this technology came along, cause now it's helping me keep my brain functioning, my mind working (but muddled at times) can't expect miracles. mrgreen And it gives me contact with sooooooo many people that I'd otherwise not know.
Allows me to contact family and friends that otherwise didn't hear from me or I from them. And it gives me this website, and have to admit I'm crazy about 'myspace' too...
So I'm rolling along with the internet, and glad I let go of the times of no internet...
Just wish many of my friends would learn to use the internet and computers. I know there is a business out there if I'd get off my butt and quit playing, so many people need help learning how to use their computers...

Before the internet I was in highschool dodging bullies and trying to escape.

:roll: just because you are still under 40


Ginger, you did make me laugh asking all those questions regarding organisation and housework. I am trying to think that far back and although I still never kept the washing up to day (it's the most up to day now that it has ever been - normally I have piles of the stuff!), I think the rest of the house was pretty tidy before the internet came! :lol: Haven't decided if I can blame the internet yet or not - it's a toss up between the internet and having teenagers! :roll:

Anyway, before the internet we were still in the UK. Before we had access to internet we had 3 very small children and I was a SAHM who walked everywhere, up and down a good large hill to school and pre-school which were both at the bottom (we lived at the top). I was on at least two committees at one time (school, mother and toddler, and pre-school) being chair and treasurer on occasion, helped at the school. mother and toddler, and pre-school, swimming lessons for two children, dancing lessons for one, karate and football (soccer) for the eldest, and always the younger one in tow. the youngest had two mother and toddler groups that he liked to go to. We didn't live near family so at least every month to six weeks we would have a weekend taken up with at least one member of family either visiting us or us going to them. Sometimes more often. It was a good job we didn't have the internet - I didn't have time! :lol:

We got our first computer in 1996 (youngest was 2) and internet access not longer after - with hubby working in computers he used to connect to the work computer (an AS 400) and piggyback onto the internet from home. Then not long after that we got internet access and it was mainly so hubby could work from home instead of being in the office until some rediculous time in the evening (no more midnight working!). It was only when we were looking to move to the US (or Canada at the time too) that I began to use the internet. Hubby would be away on business and I would check e-mails from people over here, property prices, areas etc. However, it was only when we actually moved over here at the end of 1998 that I really got to use the internet. It was my saving grace in a lot of ways. I remember finding a couple of Brit sites but nothing at the time interested me on them. Then we moved from NJ to NY and I tried again. That's when I found Britnet I believe and never looked back :)

Now, I shop, study and tutor on the internet. I feel as though I do just about everything (note the 'just' in that sentence before someone decides to take it out :grin: ) on the internet and have a computer attached to my hip! :lol: and both hubby and I wouldn't be able to do what we do without the internet. It is the one thing that I would really struggle having to give up. We rarely call home and use e-mail and IM all the time. The last time I sat and used pen and paper to write a letter was not long after we moved to the US and I wrote to my sister.

Great memories :)

I used to get out more.. roll

Before cable access, I did a little more housework (I think ...I must've done because you can see the carpet (and it looks clean) in some of the photos that scroll by when the puter goes into screen saver mode and flicks through the album), read more and watched a little TV.

I agree with Ben, there was no time back when little uns were at school, and we didn't have a computer till late 90's, and I fought John so much on having internet connection it was untrue

Now I'm hooked and hours just disaappear sometimes when I'm waiting for email.

I think that the net has made the world a smaller place, as someone said its just a click away. I do think that has made problems in its self really. More long distance relationships are made without understand the complications that could arise if you are seroius about the relationship. Its so easy talkiing about lets move here or there, but then find out its not that easy after all.

That comment about being me ummmmmm yes struck a cord there with me. With american friends etc I do tend to act different and not as open. But with Brits I tend to be myself more even with you good folks on here lol. We meet up with a bunch of Brits here and it is like yea already old friends but you have only known them for a couple of months lol

We arrived at the end of 1990 to Sacramento, where a big freeze was happening. We went to the American side of his nibs family for Christmas in Modesto where the swimming pool was frozen.
???
We moved after the first year down into San Jose and lived in several rented houses before buying our own in February 93. So I spent that year painting and decorating, building raised beds in the yard and growing everything I could to eat.
We had an internet connection in 93, if not slightly before that. It was when Netscape 1 was the first browser and there where several search engines often leading you to pages with no ads, no emoticons, no color. It wasn't of much use as no one back home had a connection. We went from a high speed connection, we'd lived in an IBM rental, to a modem, in our own house. Our own Mac, a tiny one wouldn't work with the connections here, heavens knows why, we eventually sorted it as I hated PCs, and still do, and our original Mac died last year.
I used to write letters but often resorted to the phone which cost an arm and a leg.
I wouldn't say I was lonely, but I was alone a lot of the time, but I was busy. Even in the rentals I set up herb window boxes and attaching wheels to huge planters so I could grow tomatoes.
I used the computer more as a word processor, writing short stories and eventually winning prizes for some, bit of a cheat there though, I wrote about village life and class warfare in small villages back home and the Americans lapped it up. I can't claim I didn't think they would, I knew they would.
We met our oldest friends here, I heard a scouse accent across a room and just went over and introduced myself, we've been friends ever since and now live just a few streets away from each other, of course both our hubbies are in the computer business.
We had internet connections cos of the job back in the UK but as I say, we were pretty much on our own there so it wasn't much use as a form of communication.
The only real difference the internet has made to our daily life is I can listen to the BBC, I love the plays and the comedy, especially Ross Noble at the moment,(plug, plug) and the house is wired up so we can move from room to room listening. Oh and shopping. In California there is such a mark up for concrete shops I can often buy over the internet and including postage still save a good $10.
One of the first things I did was to join the library, I remember being astonished at the plethora of books on tape, foreign movies, a really well stocked library, within walking distance, well for a Brit, folks were astonished I would walk that far. Almost 3/4 of a mile. roll
I think basically before the internet I was in the UK, since him indoors and I made it legal computers have always been around.
I do remember when we first got here we had immense problems with people posting things from companies in UK saying we hadn't paid our mortgage, and we had, but they put an ordinary stamp on an envelope to send the letter which then took six weeks to get here to say they couldn't accept payment in dollars. We eventually lost the house, but we didn't like it anyway so it was cool and we had paid but they kept returniing the payments cos they weren't made from a UK bank. The financial side of things back in the early 90s was way beyong parochial, it was stone age. Although we did have a girlie at a bank in Sacramento argue with us that there were two pounds to the dollar and evryone knew that. We tried to put her right and then had to sign papers to give them their money back.
I love the Bay area, possibly cos they're more European than anything else. You ask for marmite here and they have at least heard of it. There are markets for every culture and it's fun.
I wouldn't go back to before the internet, but I am at a loss as to why phone prices are stil so high.
Oh and I remember first finding this site. Twas very different back then. Lots of effing and blinding and name calling, but refreshing as it was a bunch of Brits. I think it was before Nigel took over. I'm not sure.
It was also a time when you could access work sites that weren't in the computer industry, and find people you hadn't spoken to in years. It was all up there and accessible.
My how things have had to change. lol

I get around you know :mrgreen:

OOh I know, I know :wink:

Before the Internet I read all the time. Now I just can't read a novel without getting bored quickly.

As for behaving like your true self, I tend to have a very different view of how I use boards like these. I use certain ones depending on what kind of persona I'm in. So really I'm not being myself at all but rather expressing a certain character. I do it for kicks sometimes in real life too - I'll meet strangers and just pretend to be someone else entirely.

Before the Internet I read all the time. Now I just can't read a novel without getting bored quickly.

As for behaving like your true self, I tend to have a very different view of how I use boards like these. I use certain ones depending on what kind of persona I'm in. So really I'm not being myself at all but rather expressing a certain character. So one is for chit chat. One is all dick jokes and talking utter nonsense. Another is just talking politics, nothing else. It's selfish in a way but they fulfill certain needs that I decide to check in and out of. I do it for kicks sometimes in real life too - I'll meet strangers and just pretend to be someone else entirely.

Just read that last bit and it sounds terrible! What I mean is I'll meet people and I'll behave exclusively in one way. It is me, just not all of me so to speak.

Before the internet i had a life lol

I used the phone a lot more sometimes actually sent out by mail xmas cards .
bought a lot more sports magazines, and had a space in the space bedroom that is now taken up by the computer desk .

When i made a dicision to buy a computer and all that goes with it i set it up in the corner leanrt how to turn it on and off but never learnt how it really works ,still havnt .


did find discussion /chat rooms for all the subjects that interested me ,and joined them (those that were free that is ) ..