British Expatriate Network

In the last year, two three-kid families I know have adopted a fourth child. Neither had fertility problems, both "joked" that it's cheaper and easier than pregnancy. One is our pediatrician. They are both very white families who adopted black babies from abroad. Jolie, Madonna etc have very publicly adopted from abroad. I keep seeing the Waynetta Slob "I want a brown baby" sketch.

Why is this happening? Is it really that it's cheaper/easier/faster/less dangerous than pregnancy? Or have people really become more aware that there are so many children who desperately need new families that if you want another and can afford to (in time and money), you should adopt?

I'm not saying it's a bad thing -I think it's great that children who need familes are getting them- but I am curious as to the sudden -in my view- rise in the trend, and a little concerned that it's too good, too fast and somewhere down the line the shit is going to hit the fan.

I doubt it. We started the whole adoption thing 4 years ago and finally came trhough with Maya in March. It takes a long time to go through all the legal mumbo jumbo and wait your turn on the adoption list. It also cost over 30K. Its not easier or faster and probably not cheaper.

That's astronomical. How is that amount justified?

It was $45 to adopt my kitten and that was more of a "donation". Not comparing like with like but do you see my point?

Wouldn't more kids be adopted if there wasn't such high dollar amount attached to them?

They'll be on e-bay next.......

Dunno, we're told its legal fees, immigration fees, hospital care, foster care, social service, etc as the adoption agency is supposed to be 'non-profit'.. We adopted from Guatemala, but its about the same amount in the U.S. You are able to adopt through the state which doesn't cost anything, but generally they are older, troubled kids and we didn't really think we had the parenting know-how or experience to deal with them.

If you adopt a child from the state they pay you, here

Oregon does too. The lady that cleans my office has adopted a few kids, including a baby and she gets paid for the adoptions.

There was an issue a few months ago where the adoptive parents were about to get their payments cut due to statewide budget cuts - I'm not sure what the outcome was though.

Both these adoptions were relatively quick -less than a year. The people I know who adopted due to fertility issues took a lot longer -years , which makes me wonder if these other families are paying a speed premium? I'd love to ask, but I can't. The celeb adoptions don't seem to take very long either, -I find it hard to believe they'd manage to keep their quests hidden from the press for a few years. ???

Ahhh large amounts of money will move things along pretty quickly

Are they special needs? I think they pay you when you're adopting kids with disabilities. As I said, adopting through the state is generally adopting older, special needs or kids from troubled homes. At least it is here in Ohio. We'd thought it'd be easy on paper, but the reality is different.

I wonder what eastendboy's experiences are with adoption?

As I understand it, there are very few babies up for adoption through the state here, and so the babies which are available go to the younger couples with insoluble fertility problems. Most adopted babies are mixed-race and many are born to parents with drug problems (I know a family who foster these babies while the papers go through). Very Sad.

But is the increase in adoption of babies from abroad by families who can conceive all in my mind? has it really always happened on this scale? And is it really just a social conscience thing? My pediatrician commented about how with adoption, you actually get to enjoy the three months leave rather than just spending it recovering.....

We went the adoption route because it wasn't happening naturally and we couldn't endure all the hassle of trying with fertility drugs, IVF, etc. Adoption was a sure thing, fertility drugs and IVF are as costly as adoption but there is no guarantee of a baby at the end of it. There is a lot of physical and psychological hassle going through all the infertility malarky. Sure adoption is an easier way.

But when you are able to conceive easily like these families...??????

I've never experienced IVF, but it sounds like an awfully expensive route -financially, and especially emotionally. I might go for adoption too in those circumstances.

I guess there's also an argument that these mothers are over 40 so at higher risk of having babies with problems and of suffering problem pregnancies. But still, the youngest of their kids are 4 and 5, so it's not like it's been so long since they last went through it....

Are they special needs? I think they pay you when you're adopting kids with disabilities. As I said, adopting through the state is generally adopting older, special needs or kids from troubled homes. At least it is here in Ohio. We'd thought it'd be easy on paper, but the reality is different.

I wonder what eastendboy's experiences are with adoption?[/quote]

The reasons for people to adopt are as individual as the people themselves. We are adopting from China, it is absolutely not because it is the "cool" thing to do, in fact there are many special challenges and problems involved with a foreign adoption. In the interest of information I will give a precis of our situation and see if that helps anyone.

We tried for a baby for 7 years (that bit was fun). Things didn't happen and we talked about it, what we were sure of was that we did not want the idea of having a child becoming the be all and end all of our lives. We had a lot to be thankful for and did not seem to keen on the IVF route with the emotional rollercoaster that this involves.

We talked about adoption and discovered that we both were not opposed to it but needed more infomation.

We researched the subject and through personal choice decided against domestic adoption, my wife as worked on adoption and paternity cases and knows the law very well and has seen many cases of birth mothers wanting their babies back and childredn born to drug addicted parents having many issues to deal with. This was a personal choice it was not for us.

We then looked at international adoption and thought this was something we were interested in. There are many countries where we were disqualified due to our age (over 40). We looked at the costs, amount of time involved, government oversight, people's stories and experiences and after all that decided on the Chinese adoption program. We found it was a long standing program that both governments were invested in and had a large amount of involvement to ensure that noone was being defrauded and the interests of the children are primary, and there are no hidden costs along the way.

The paperwork involved is absolutely brutal, this alone will weed out all but the most serious of parents. The cost is another factor. This will cost us aproximately $30,000 and will take nearly 2 years when we are all done.

We have to have a social worker visit and make sure we are not serial killers and will not be keeping the child in the basement. We will have further visits 6 months and 1 year after the child is home.

We are about 6 months in and we have about a 14 months to go. We have asked for twins but that never happens so we will probably have 1 little girl after all this. My family have been very supportive and my Mum is will into Grandmother mode.

Thanks, EEB. I agree everyone's reason is different, but I would say your's certainly does not follow the "have several biological children then adopt" pattern I have been noticing and wondering about.

good luck with it all )

No, as I said we tried for 4 or 5 years naturally, and then went the adoption route as opposed to fertility treatments. EEB's experience is exactly the same as ours. You would not believe the paperwork involved, medical tests, interviews, home assessments and everything else involved in adoption.