Yesterday was such a sad day for me as a mother. It started great as I watched another action packed game of footie, Archie is a natural when he has the ball between his feet and puff with pride when the other parents tell me how they enjoy watching him play. Archie will be 8 in December and is a great little boy, his best friend moved away at the beginning of the summer hols so he has been cooped up with myself and his baby brother, the novelty started wearing off so I arranged for two of the (only 1 year) older boys across the street to come and call by sometimes for Arch. That day came yesterday! He went to play at 400pm, came back twice for various items and finally came home at 900 pm! I did check in with the other mothers and kept a vigil at the kitchen window until hubby told me off. My little boy has started to grow his wings, anyone else go through the same thing? I felt a lump in my throat when he said they might call by tomorrow (today!).
I know how you feel.
However, I think that playing outside (semi unsupervised) is good for kids and there's far too much structured play going on these days.
You'll get used to it and he'll be far happier for having some friends.
It is hard to 'let them go'. It's wonderful to see them successfully spread their wings, though, to a world beyond their immediate family. I've got one away at college and another on her 'gap' year in NZ. I've always embraced the next stage in their lives, and am sure it rubs off on them in a positive way. Do miss them though sad
However, I think that playing outside (semi unsupervised) is good for kids and there's far too much structured play going on these days.
I was reading something similar in a magazine this week where the actress Reese Witherspoon was saying she wanted her children to develop their own imaginations like she did when she was a child.
She also said she had come across parents that took their children round to play at other kids houses and then both parents would sit and basically watch the kids play the whole time.
It is hard to 'let them go'. It's wonderful to see them successfully spread their wings, though, to a world beyond their immediate family. I've got one away at college and another on her 'gap' year in NZ. I've always embraced the next stage in their lives, and am sure it rubs off on them in a positive way. Do miss them though :sad:
Oh boy, I can totally understand how hard this is and I haven't quite got to that age yet.
Portishead, it is hard. I remember when our eldest was 9 and he was asked to play with a boy who lived on the other side of the lake community where we lived. It wasn't far but he was going to bike round and it was the first time he had been out of our street by a good long way on his bike. So we let him go and then I followed in the car :roll: He never knew until last year that that is what I did.
My eldest now is reading the driving manual for NYS ready to get his permit in a couple of weeks. He is so excited and we are excited for him - but I am also dreading it. Not the first year because we will always be with him, but when he gets his full license and can drive on his own. The next step into that big wide world.
You should feel very proud of yourself for being able to let go - there are too many parents out there that just won't do it.
My eldest was the first to venture down the road alone to play with friends - with me watching from here and the other mum watcheing from her end. She was three! When she was five, we were in Holland and after school she would go off to the homes of her little dutch friends - often sitting on the back of the mother's bike and I often didn't even know where they lived, but she always came home safe and sound.
My middle one was always much shyer, but she spends a lot of time with friends of ours and at eight she went on a ten-day vacation with them.
My youngest has been going it alone since he was five and now at 7 he puts on his helmet, gets out his bike and yells "I'm going to see if someone can play!" and off he goes. He calls me when he finds a friedn to paly with so I know where he is but if no-one is around he is back within a few minutes. I love having them be so independent. This is a good neighborhood so we are very lucky.
Yesterday I allowed my eldest to walk around the mall alone, with a cell phone and checking in with me very ten minutes - and she and I were both fine with it.
I know many parents who won't even let their 15 and 16-year olds walk alone in the mall - and yet they let them learn to drive. I find that weird. ???
All power to the parent who can let go, I say. Bad things don't happen to children as often as the media would like us to think.
It is hard, I get so nervous but I have to give him credit he is a good boy and needs his space to do what little boys do. My husband says I am sweet, and that we are the balance to one another as far as the way we deal with these situations, until I reminded him that he was the one who followed the school bus on Archie's first day in Kindergarten!!
I am very proud all the same, thanks for the responses I don't feel so crazy now.
Not so carazy at all.
Every stage is a learning period for the parent too.
I figured out that it takes me about 6 weeks to adjust to my kids stages of indepedence.
My kids have always had independence and are better people for it I believe.
Right now I'm in week 3 of my oldest going to college and working. She is in the same state but an hour commute each way, every day.
Next year will be harder as she really wants to go to New York and will be home only occasionally.
My youngest has his driving permit and will have his license by January.
This one will be particularly hard to adjust to as the car is where we do most of our best talks. I will miss driving him around a lot.
It's great to see such commonsense approaches to the childrens independence. I know boys need to try things that their parents wouldn't allow, so they need to be out of sight, if not out of mind. When my mother would come for the summer, we would all be talking at the dinner table and I would answer one of the girls questions with some adventure from my childhood, and my mum would be outraged. She wouldn't believe that I had done such a thing; I half expected her to mete out punishment. I don't want to put you off , experiment is a necessary part of growing up.
Wendy, do tell your youngest how much you value the driving practise conversation; later on, you can remind him, and ask him to take you for a drive somewhere.
This has the memories going, taking a call from my eldest a fourth gradet, at her best friend's house, calling to say she had been invited to sleep over, wanting to know what we were going to have for dinner so she could make up her mind lol
It's great to see such commonsense approaches to the childrens independence. I know boys need to try things that their parents wouldn't allow, so they need to be out of sight, if not out of mind. When my mother would come for the summer, we would all be talking at the dinner table and I would answer one of the girls questions with some adventure from my childhood, and my mum would be outraged. She wouldn't believe that I had done such a thing; I half expected her to mete out punishment. I don't want to put you off , experiment is a necessary part of growing up.
Wendy, do tell your youngest how much you value the driving practise conversation; later on, you can remind him, and ask him to take you for a drive somewhere.
This has the memories going, taking a call from my eldest a fourth gradet, at her best friend's house, calling to say she had been invited to sleep over, wanting to know what we were going to have for dinner so she could make up her mind :lol:
That is too funny about your 4th grader Londonsquare;)
I too agree whole heartedly that he needs to do some learning and discovery without me looking over his shoulder, I feel it is important to believe in your children and let them grow. It just frightens me sometimes but I don't show him that I just tell him how proud I am.