.. any of you have babies at home in the UK, then have one in the U.S?
Differences? (if any!)
Just recently found out I am 15wks preg, big shock... youngest is coming up 9, thought I was done with this baby thing.
Honestly, the thought of having a baby in a different country, despite the fact that I have lived here for a number of years scares the crap out of me!
So is everything the same more or less??
Also... hubby is an American citizen, me a Brit... I am "assuming" babe will be registered American? Any way (as silly as it sounds) that I can get a Brit stamp on it or somethin'? LOL (Damn, that sounded lame)
Thanks in advance!
Congrats.
Very different.
Yup it can be a Brit too.
Well come on .. explain!!! ;)
Pleeeeeeease!!!!!!!!!!!! Pretty please!
I have no idea where to start.
OK they have different ideas about what you should eat/drink and what you should avoid.
where I live, you sre seen by your OBGYN, you don't see a midwife until you get to the hospital to deliver.
They like stuirrups, they like you on your back on the bed. Water birth? hahahaha
They like to circumcise boys
It's the law they get to put antibiotic cream in your baby's eyes the minute they are born
They like to take your baby away and put it in a nursery if you've had a c-section
They throw you out of hospital quickly (yay!)
Hospitals are more like hotels -you get complimentary nappies etc and private rooms.
Hospital food is just the same
I didn't realise that it's against the law to not put that antibiotic gel/cream in the baby's eyes.
Do American women have infected vaginas or what?
If I had a child over here I'd be campaigning for them to leave MY baby's eyes well alone.
Oh and why do they get their knickers in a severe twist about group B strep. I reckon they're all in cahoots with the pharmaceutical companies to get as much damn antibiotic in us as possible from the earliest age.
Oh and the counting business...gets right on my waz. I'd tell them to sod off....or worse!
In fact I think I'd be having a baby in a field, far from the madd(en)ing crowd STS!!!
Rant over.(Can't you tell I have PMS???)
Oh, and Congratulations to the Odinhaus family!! I'm sure everything will be just fine! grin
Debs x smile
Congratulations first of all. Yes, I can imagine you are in shock.
No, I have no experience of having a baby over here but I can tell you straight off - if I were in your shoes, I would be on the first plane home! There is no way I would have a baby in this country after having had three back in the UK, and the youngest was a homebirth.
Can't get over that business with the eyes! Have we all blinded our children by not having them in the US roll
oh it's not all bad, just very, very different.
I have nothing to compare it with since I only gave birth in this country, but I have very few complaints. In fact I think I was better off here. I would hate the thought of being on a ward.
1. Private room (as monster said)
2. Free supplies - did not have to bring own toilet paper, nappies or other items - all was provided.
3. Food was not that bad - got to order from a menu
4. I chose to have a midwife for the births of the second and third - there was a team of four and by the time I got to the hospital for the birth I knew them all and they knew me. They were all excellent.
5. NO ointment was put in my babies' eyes.
6. I had my own phone (this was pre-cellphone) and my own tv
7. Overall the experience was positive and good and as an experienced mother you are more likely to speak up when you don't like something.
8. There was counting but I kept shouting "ten" when they were only up to Five, so I got my way anyway!
Complaints
1. The checklist of things they are supposed to teach you before you leave the hospital - not a problem for an experienced mother but overwhelming for a first-time mother because you are on your own when you leave the hospital
2. The unnecessary antibiotics "just in case"
3. The lack of support after leaving the hospital and the lack of contact with other mums.
4. The damn monitors and automatic bloodpressure and the drip line. Hard to move when you are wired up like that - not that I felt like moving.
good luck O; I'm sure you'll be fine. It's like riding a bike. lol
Don't worry you're in good hands and really have a lot of choice here in terms of your "birth plan". (I would guess much more than in the uk). You can have midwives or ob/gyns deliver your baby here. It's up to you. I went the midwife route and also had a birthing pool at my birth. I rented one for about 200.00, so yep that's easily possible. Many hospitals have them on their units so just look around if this is something you are interested in. Hospitals differ as do midwives, ob/gyns so it's mainly about doing lots of research, knowing what you want and finding someone willing to give it to you.
My hospital was great, they allowed as many people as I wanted at the birth, hubby to stay overnight, baby to either "room in" or go to the nursery all night, all day visiting hours, and a free buffet for visitors/families. I stayed two nights, which I believe is also the norm for a non- c-section in the UK. I opted for no meds but the great thing in the US is that you will get all the meds you want (unless you go the midwife route). My sister recently had a baby in the UK and was advised to get out of the hospital as soon as possible (she left the same day), midwives really didn't want to give her any meds and she had to share a room with 5 other people! I had my own room here and really felt like a pampered princess sending the baby back and forth to the nursery whenever I felt like it (damn did it hurt to go home). I was also told to call the maternity unit with any concerns when I left the hospital (hubby called the first night cos we couldn't get the baby to stop crying ) ) plus my pediatrician was called by myself many times when we were frantic those first few months. Many pediatricians offer telephone support a couple of hours a day, so there is plenty of support here if you need it. There are also lots of support groups - La Leche league for breastfeeding and new mother groups.
Good luck and don't worry, I think you will prefer giving birth here than in those filthy UK wards and you really can get whatever you want.
Birth Plan ridden over roughshod here. UK wards were spotless, not everyone likes a private room ;) And you get a menu in the UK. Believe me it's the same nasty food, except here they always add a disgusting humongous stinky pickle to it.
No heavily pregnant 16-year-olds standing outside the front door having a fag over here though. (Probably because they can't actually afford to go to the hostipital to have their babies)
We found the "support groups" over-patronizing and interfering, particularly given it was not a first child. Oh and you can't get gas and air. Not round here anyway. Not that I used it in the UK either.
Private phones and tvs are available in both places but cost a lot. Of course that too will vary from place to place.
You may fell more likely to speak up here, but your also more likely to be ignored -there is much more of a "doctor is always right/doctor knows best, be quiet and take your medicine" attitude. Which is fine and possibly reassuring if you're not the obnoxious questioning type.
Of course, I ended up with a c-section under general anaesthetic which wasn't entirely the plan, and I didn't know the American terms for anything as I'd only been here 9 months, so my impression is bound to be more jaded than a first-time mom who has only given birth here and had no problems. My overall experience of the process in the UK isn't too rosy either, but you asked about the differences, not for glowing reports, and the differences are legion -some good some bad and which is which mostly depends on your personal experience.
I hate to be waited on hand and foot, I hate people trying to forcibly take my baby to a nursery to make their lives easier and I hate being in a tiny room all by myself with no life to watch and an excess of machines attached everywhere. I had to threaten to remove the catheter myself before they would agree to do it "because then you don't have to wait for us to help tou too the bathroom"
If that's your idea of heaven, then it's going to be a positive difference, if not, then not. Them not trying to keep me in for any longer than absolutely necessary was blissful and the best part about being over here. I hate being in hospital -on any continent. I've heard some people enjoy it and find it restful.. I find that hard to believe, but horses for courses.......
)
UK you have a choice regarding the nursery but it is generally accepted that baby stays with mother at all times.
You can have a choie with private room or ward. I had a private room with my first and I was given it. My sister paid 15pounds for a private room (10 years ago). Some maternity hospitals are now offering hotel style facilities for the night after you have had your baby if everything has gone well and you would normally go home. Instead you can stay at the hospital, with your partner, and then if you need anything you have medical staff on hand.
I'm surprised you would have more choice over here than you do in the UK - I heard insurance companies won't pay for homebirths. And birthing centres, here anyway, are not used enough and end up closing. The fear of God is put into women about the risks of having a baby and with insurance companies not willing to pay for alternatives, many people can't afford the whole expense on their own. so where is the choice? In the UK, no matter where you live, and no matter what your income, there is a choice of home or hospital. Do you have a choice about being hooked up to monitors and drips in the US? If you refuse does your insurance company then refuse to pay your bill? and what about the choice with the anitbiotics?
It's very hard to get a home birth here -most OBGYNs will not accept home birth patients and many insurance companies will not pay any expenses. But I believe there are centres around.
Doulas are very big here -which I understand many mothers love BUT, I wonder that you shouldn't be in a position where you need a doula (or at least to bring in one from outside of the organization you have chosen to trust with your medical care) -it suggests to me that something's wrong with the current system.
Odin, don't worry, it will be fine. The one thing that's the same everywhere is that no matter how bad the time preceding the birth moment, it's all forgotten at that instant and seems so little to have had to endure for such a fantastic outcome )
What I can't understand about giving birth here is that it's all or nothing with regards to pain relief.
When I had Lucy in the UK I was assigned to a team of midwives and was introduced to all of them over my pre-natal period...theory was that when I did go into labour I would know the midwife that delivered me. Reality, unfortunately, didn't turn out that way as the midwife who was supposed to be on duty that day called in sick so I got someone else! No matter, she was brilliant. Anyway, I opted for gas and air which in the beginning worked wonderfully but then I decided to have pethidine which was given IM in the thigh instead of them having to rig an IV line. It was stingy for a second but then it kicked in and I was out for the count for four hours! grin
I got a second shot of it 4 hours later and then had the G&A again when I was pushing Lucy out....although a stick of wood between my teeth would have done fine by that stage!!
If I had wanted an epidural I could have had one. I wasn't pressured to do anything I didn't want to do, was offered a private room but I didn't want to be on my own so went into a bay with three other new mums. They bathed Lucy for me and then I went home the day after. The midwife came to visit me at home every day for 2 weeks then every third day for the remainder of the first month. The Health Visitor took over then and was marvellous. I have no complaints about the NHS birth experience....you as the prospective mum are in control and allowed to make informed choices...that's how it should be here IMO.
Debs x smile
I just posted a long post and it vanished!!!
... trying again...
No such thing as "gas and air" wink
Never had a baby here, only went on the OB ward as a student.
Water births and the like were much frowned upon, however I hear this changes from area to area.
Seemed to put an IV into everyone whether they needed it or not.
Er, not always a good idea to have all and sundry at the birth like I saw some doing here. Infection risk big time. Although they won't say so, having five bystanders in the delivery room will piss the staff off.
Boulder community must be the only hospital in the US that actually had cloth diapers.
Shop around to see which hospitals will do what and then find out if the insurance will pay for what you want.
Remember that you can refuse any medication you don't want, however do listen to why they want to give it to you. It's your choice and it may be a good or a bad one.
Oh, if you know a street person or casual acquantaince that likes free meals, tell them to come and visit you. It is customary in US hospitals for absolutely any visitor to "not have eaten for hours" and expect a hot meal when they arrive, and then complain about it. However many cafeterias that hospital might have.
Can't really think of much else.
Oh, and I meant to say Congratulations! grin