OK, I need some help here. I usually manage to avoid these things, but this one is for my co-worker so I feel like I have to attend. How much am I expected to spend on a bridal shower gift? Can I buy something that's not on the registry as everything left sounds pretty boring? The bottom of the invitation says "wine wishing well" - does this mean I also need to bring wine?
Help!
Take something like chocolate underwear, a sex book, novelty condoms.....these things are dirty little parties where women like to get together and have fun. I think kind of gag gifts are expected but it's also ok to take serious gifts.
They have a registry for bridal shower gifts? I so hate this grabbing culture. A wine wishing well? I have no idea. I googled it and it came up with a rather nasty garden ornament made from wine barrels. Rather you than me, hinny.
(I'm sooo helpful, aren't I?) lol
Oooh look, now I am
http//www.al.com/weddings/modernbride/index.ssf?/weddings/modernbride/content/shower.html
Yes, you are supposed to bring wine to stock the couple's cellar. This would be instead of a registry giift, though, I think. ??? Asking for both seems a bit rich.
May I suggest the 2-buck-chuck from your local Trader Joe's? ;)
I just went to an office one, none of us bought off the registry, as it ws boring and pricey stuff, we knew the stuff she likes so someone got her candles, gift certificate, knife to cut the cake etc... (she has been living with the guy for years, so didn't really need all the homey stuff). I had a shower when I first got married, bunch of people I never even heard off given me a plate, a knife etc... an interesting experience....... I live in the bible belt so no clue on the wine thing!
Being male i've never having been to one of these orgies of girlish womanhood so i did a search and follow and found that the well is for an additional gift. Fascinating stuff
here
Damn, but I'm glad men don't have to attend these rites
KG's Guide to Wedding Etiquette in the 21st century
I am so against "registry" lists and the american notion that a gift is equal to a meal-ticket!
In my opinion:
No-one should feel obligated to host or attend a bridal shower.
No-one should be told of any registry or be given any gift wish-lish unless they ask for it
No-one should ever be expected to bring a gift as "right-of-admission" - and this applies to both weddings and birthday parties.
Plan a wedding that you have money in the bank to pay for. That includes the bridesmaids dresses (since when do you have to buy yourself an outfit that someone else has chosen?)!
Being a bride doesn't make you a princess, not even for a day. Behave accordingly.
There are two people involved in every wedding, not just the bride.
Things that go wrong at weddings are not disasters - unless someone dies, and then only if the death is sudden and violent.
You do not need a wedding planner, a designer dress, a floral arch or personalised napkins. You need a location, a couple of witnesses, an officiant and a pen to sign your name with.
I could go on......
KG's Guide to Wedding Etiquette in the 21st century
I am so against "registry" lists and the american notion that a gift is equal to a meal-ticket!
In my opinion:
No-one should feel obligated to host or attend a bridal shower.
No-one should be told of any registry or be given any gift wish-lish unless they ask for it
No-one should ever be expected to bring a gift as "right-of-admission" - and this applies to both weddings and birthday parties.
Plan a wedding that you have money in the bank to pay for. That includes the bridesmaids dresses (since when do you have to buy yourself an outfit that someone else has chosen?)!
Being a bride doesn't make you a princess, not even for a day. Behave accordingly.
There are two people involved in every wedding, not just the bride.
Things that go wrong at weddings are not disasters - unless someone dies, and then only if the death is sudden and violent.
You do not need a wedding planner, a designer dress, a floral arch or personalised napkins. You need a location, a couple of witnesses, an officiant and a pen to sign your name with.
I could go on......
....and (this is what seems to be forgotten!).............................It's not the wedding that counts it's the marriage afterwards that is important. A wedding is just one day in your life, the marriage is your life.
I've only been to one bridal shower, I made out like a bandit. Won prizes, ate and drank my fill and generally had a good time. Mind I was the only English person there, which was in my favor.
The pressies seemed to be on the silly side, the wedding pressies where are a completely different registry. My pal was given warming lotions, feather boas, suspender belts and fishnet stockings, edible underwear and peek a boo undies, all the usual dross.
Basically it was like a WI meeting, someone continually herding us from one room to another to play games, eat snacks and such.
I haven't come across the wine wishing well thing, but then I live in California and most women are too busy ferrying kids here and there to drink, so even on this day there was an organized schedule for picking up kids and putting them all in one house with the babysitter. There were loads of designated drivers too.
I'm with monster on this, get 2 buck chuck, showers are for the girlies to let rip, not build a wine cellar. hell, how many stag nights build a beer cellar. i thought the idea was to stop when the booze ran out.
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Things that go wrong at weddings are not disasters - unless someone dies, and then only if the death is sudden and violent.
That happened at my cousin's wedding back in '97. One of the guests keeled over during a hymn and while we were finishing it, a trained nurse who was a guest was giving CPR. Very surreal and quite shocking to see at any time.
The guest (someone from my uncle and aunt's church) was pronounced dead later and we heard the sad news during the reception.
Sensible guidelines Kentgirl - now if only you could get them into the mainstream and stop some of this nonsense.
My gift to the bride would be not to show up.
I've only been to one but invited to a few - some by people I barely know.
....and (this is what seems to be forgotten!).............................It's not the wedding that counts it's the marriage afterwards that is important. A wedding is just one day in your life, the marriage is your life.
Agreed.
So lets write the Britnet Wedding Guide - incse someone is reading this who needs our unasked for advice!
Pilgrim - that really is an unfortunate thing to happen at a wedding.
Dianey - I like your style.. The thing is, I would probably have fun at a friends bridal shower, the same way as I'd have fun at a hen night. However that's what it should be - something for friends - not the brides' mother's next-door neighbor's cousin!
It used to get up my nose when Foreigners would criticise our British mores and customs, and suggest that our rituals were badly conceived, and that they would be greatly improved if changed, in ways suggested by them. roll
The point of the shower is to not exclude anyone who wants to be there, there are bound to be people from different facets of the bride's life, That's the purpose Ladies,suck it up and put on a good face or don't go; if you want a hen party, organise it yourself. Sounds as though the hens might be a trifle crotchety, though. mrgreen
The point of the shower is to not exclude anyone who wants to be there, there are bound to be people from different facets of the bride's life, That's the purpose Ladies,suck it up and put on a good face or don't go;
That may be the purpose, but that clearly isn't what's happening. people feel obliged to go and obliged to spend more than they feel comfortable with on presents for people they hardly know. It's not just a culture thing either, it's more of a modern time thing. But it sucks. Bring back the good old days. Or modernize properly. These days more than any are the times when newlyweds don't need a helping hand to get started in their new home.
A couple of years ago my kids got invited to a birthday party where a wish list was included with the invite. Now toy stores are doing birthday party registries. Worse still, eight-year-olds open presents and say "but this wasn't on my list" :roll:
You cannot simply invite people to a party any more -they feel they must bring something. When did it stop being about the social aspects and start being about the material things? Yeuch. The nice bit about presents is the surprise bit -not expecting a present and not having any idea what it might be.
keeping hippydom alive regards......
Sounds as though the hens might be a trifle crotchety, though. :mrgreen:
Nonsense, I don't even take my knitting on such days. :wink:
I've only been involved in one bridal shower.
I put 2 champagne glasses with sexy silk undies inside for bride and groom and a bottle of champagne in a decorative box.
This was for my brother in laws wife to be.
One of my best friends also had a shower but I was unable to go on the day due to an emergency, so I later gave her the gift of 2 Irish Crystal candle lamps, in a decorative box.
She is from Ireland so the gift worked.
If I went to one for a co worker or acquaintance I would not spend as much as I did on those gifts but would definitely go for a cheaper version along the same lines.