I was watching an old episode of Eastenders earlier this evening and the owner of the B&B told one of her sons that she never wanted to see him again and gave him 500 quid to go away forever. I couldn't help thinking that I can't ever imagine doing that to any of my own children and making a point of showing that I preferred one child over another.
But then I was thinking that if I had one child who was constantly in trouble with the police and we had tried everything, would I cut my losses to save my other children from being dragged in. No matter how hard I tried to imagine it, I could still not imagine not opening my arms to my own child and telling them how much I loved them.
What would it take for you to disown one of your children? And monster - if you decide to disown Thor, I'm up for first ownership ;)
(but I had to take him to court to get support and it was 25quid a week)
((and I was never in trouble with the police))
...but I did not get on with his wife.
I was 16. They went away for a week and did not trust me in the house alone, so I had to go and stay with my maternal grandmother just down the road, and pop back home to feed the cats twice a day. They were due back Friday afternoon. I went back home with all my stuff Friday night. No sign of them. So I fed the cats and went back to my Nan's. I went over early Saturday to feed the cats -still no sign of them- then I went of to my Saturday job. Finished at 6pm, went to my Nan's, had dinner, then packed up my stuff again to go home. Got there to find an angry reception party. Apparently my dinner had been ready at 5 and they'd waited, so everyone's Spag Bol was ruined. (I worked until 6 every Saturday). I offered to pay the cost of the food and was told to get out of the house because my politics were all wrong and I was a bad daughter. Go figure.
I sued for support and won. Some people are just crappy parents.
Ben, I come close to disowning him every day, and there is a big line of suckers wanting to adopt him.. But you know you are first in that line. Just so long as you take the other two too ;)
That's a rough way to have to leave home Monster. I know that it happens now and again and I never understand total abandonment. I hope you were able to enjoy the rest of your teen years, after the dust settled.
My parents didnt disown me they just didnt give a shit . i could,nt do anything right so i stopped trying
left home at 16 stayed where ever i could until i got settled . i had a problem for years with my * mother from hell *
having a bad /incomplete unloving childhood is not a easy task to overcome and feel for anybody who had to go thou one .
i had toys taken gform me and GIVEN to my brother cus he 3anted it and it was my perants way to teach me to share did ii get another chance to play with it no .
my aunt had a st of leather bound books (set of charles dickens ) taht she wanted me to have i wasnt hter so my mother sent one of my brothers to pick them up on his bike .
since he picked them up my mother decreed he should have have them , weeks later he distroyed them by cutting and burning them .
i leant to look after me at a early age couldnt wait to leave home
never visited my perants graves when i lived in england .
Ben, I come close to disowning him every day, and there is a big line of suckers wanting to adopt him.. But you know you are first in that line. Just so long as you take the other two too ;)
Doubling my family size - mmmm, sounds interesting :wink:
sorry if I dragged that memory up for you, Monster. :sad: But you really show the point that it isn't the kids that are bad.
Paul, on Eastenders, turns to his mum and tells her it isn't her money he wants but her love and she just keeps her head turned away. I know it is only a show - but it still felt very sad.
I've always felt that the unconditional love of a parent is just that - unconditional. And should always be there.
It's not an issue for me. Just wanted to let you know it happens. That's why I call the money he sends for the sprogs "guilt money" ;)
I'm having my teenage years right now, and enjoying every minute of it! lol
I'm having my teenage years right now, and enjoying every minute of it! :lol:
Really!
I don't think I could do it.
I don't know why, but I think that a lot of mothers do even inadvertently show they prefer one child over another one. I only have one and I think it's going to stay that way so it won't be a problem.
My Mums best friend had a son who was addicted to heroin - he's now dead. He was about 10 years older than me and although she didn't want to disown him I think after a couple of years of having him steal things, take out loans under her name and physical violence she got some sort of restraining order against him. Very heartbreaking but who could blame her?
Monster, reading your story of your younger years , it made me think about the mother you have become despite not having a role models from either parent! Your kids are very lucky 8) and you should take great pride from that.
Would I disown. Well I'm not sure that I can predict the future, but I don't think I have mass murderers as sons . . . so I guess not.
I talk to my kids, all of them still. The eldest is pushing 30 in the next few weeks, and although they are not 'physically' my kids, I could not push any of them away if they were in trouble. I do however understand Dianeys' mums friends sons dilemma, and I suppose I would maybe have done the same. I think that sometimes people on the 'self distruct path' and nothing anyone does for them makes a difference.