British Expatriate Network

Hi, I'm a bit new round here, after 4 years of being away I've finally searched enough on the net to find this site, Anyhow on with the question.

I've been away for 4 years but still get really homesick, I feel guilty for living away from my family - I've married an Aussie who will only live in Aus - I miss out on things my sisters and parents do, and have never really made good friends like I have left in England. However, I have a nice setup, get holidays, am financially fairly stable and own our own home which I doubt would be possible in the uk. We do have nice people we spend time with but no close relationships.

but I spend alot of my time thinking about being back there, having said that often I feel quite happy here, but think if only I could just pop home for the weekend and get really sad. I plan my time around my next trip home, and miss alot of things about the uk, mostly the sense of humour and the people.

Are these quite normal thoughts? Do they get better? Does it ever work to go back to the uk for a longer period - i would have to go alone, my husband has made it clear he wouldnt' come with me - to see if you really miss it that much?

any thought gratefully recieved................ )

Hi kylli,

I've been in Chicago now for 6 years and yes, I still miss the UK. I go back for short breaks every year (sometimes twice) and that cures it for me.

With a little ingenuity there is almost nothing you can't get on the internet except perhaps a decent Pork Pie.

Do I miss family and friends from over there? Occasionally but I grew up as an army brat and was then in the Rn so came here from no fixed abode anyway.

I went back last year, and am going again this year - problem is, flying from Oz is fairly expensive!! It isn't a problem with us both working, but I guess if our situation ever changes ie we don't have 2 incomes that might make it harder.

I problaby do need to be more experiemental finding things from home. My main problem is my love of French wine and that is pretty hard to import into oz!!

Can I ask why you are in Chicago? ie for another person? A job just because?

You're surrounded by spiffy New World wine and you persist in drinking vin francais?

/heathen
//Aussie wine is great

We got married in the UK and lived there for 16 months but she got homesick so we came here to live. That was 6 years ago.

Last time I was homesick was in Feb 1949.
I was 18 and conscripted into the RAF. First time I had left home. Quickly got over it and made many new freinds.
Some guy's in the billet were so homesick they often cried themselves to sleep.

Homesickness is usually missing freinds and relatives not so much the place.

In my experience over 40+ years of observing people both personally and on this site, is that those that are ABLE to return more often for visits are the most likely to never settle down anywhere.
Several people I know have returned and most have come back.

We didn't have the luxury of being able to afford any trips home in our early days in Canada. And by the time we did, we were no longer interested in spending potentially boring times with relatives. Instead we visited many places on this side of the pond and in recent years much of Europe ( not the UK)

I had absolutely no desire to return to Britian. I've only been here (Buffalo NY, USA) 4 years and for 2 of those years the thought of going back never enterend my head. And when I had to return twice i couldn't wait to get out. It seemed like nothing worked, everyone was miserable, everything was so small, and people instantly disliked me for "showing off" by living somewhere else.

But that changed. I didn't ever get homesick, but I discovered that I belong here even less. America is weird. For my third year here I just wanted to move - and a different part of the US was an option. I wanted to live in Canada, New Zealand, or the North Eastern corridoor between Oregon and BC in Canada, which is an entity all of its own. All I knew was that I wasn't going back to Britian. But then my wife just came out and asked if I wanted to go home. I like to think about things, but I didn't think about this at all, i just said yes. I'd rather be there than here. I now want the smallness, the miserable buggers, and the irritated around me. Much rather that than mad-evangelicals, weirdo conservatives, demented politically correct hippies and people from Long Island who insist they're from Manhatten. Don;t get me wrong, I don't dislike America, but I just belong in Britian - I am that kind of person. I don't fear leaving there if it doesn't work out. You just don't know how things will turn out.

As for your other half not wanting to go - it's a horrible situation. But surely there's some negotiation right? Isn't there a new 3rd place to pick from?

After living here for almost 30 years i consider the us home .

london the bright lights , kings rd ,the thames , footy,( chelsea ) and fish and chips , are irreplaceable but sometimes we just have to move on.







.

Eh? Wouldn't this be the north western corridor? Thought the north eastern was Virginia up to Maine?

After 40+ years here the London I remember doesn't exist. London to has moved on.
So has Ottawa in the last 40+ years. Everything used to shut down on Sundays in the 60's. Now like most places in North America it's 24/7.

Yeah, that would be being a moron. :lol:

mrbungle2103, at this stage there is no room for negiotiation with my husband. we talked about it last year but it resulted in alot of fighting. He can't understand why I just wouldn't be happy to stay here and hates the cold weather. I've suggested going somewhere else, an whole new place, but there isn't anywhere else he would go. Brisbane born and bred!!!!

I would love to go back for a couple of years, even if we ended up coming back to Aus in the end. I suppose I just can't see myself here forever, so I'm always reluctant to make permanent commitments and probably don't settle into life here 100%.

I don't really get homesick, just love it when I visit and appreciate it so much more. It's the little things though, pubs with low beams and roast lunches, a pint of bitter, the local curry house....footie on telly, coast & fish and chips.....etc etc

The weirdest thing is that when I visited the UK last Autumn, I was homesick for the US. Maybe after you live somewhere for a certain amount of time, it becomes 'home'? I certainly miss the UK, but the US seems like home now.

The last time I went back in 1982 was only for a week to see my mother for the last time.

It was so completely foreign to me that after a couple of day's I was looking forward to going home. I actually had a dream that I was trapped there. The pubs were filled with smoke and noise, the fish and chip shop was run by chinese. Too much had changed.

Never been back since.