British Expatriate Network

A Family friend ( not all that close but one who has been in our lives for some time ) sent us a letter that has coused me some concern .

The letter states the she will be going on a * missionary tour * of china and is asking us to pray for her and donate to the funding of it each missionary wil have to raise the sum of $ 2300.00

the letter came with a gift envelope with our name on it and a # which coensides with a list of sponsers on which it appears our name had been added ,so she will know we declined when they count th4e donations

This assumption is to me perticulary annoying as we have never been approached personally and other than the signature it appears the letter is a form letter sent by church (first protestant ) to all names on the list .

This person is also a very good friend of Melanies perants who also hold very strong religious views but go to a differnt denomination so we might assume they have recieved the same letter.

When in the company of this friend the subject of religious belief had never (to my knowledge ) even been bought up althouth we know she does attend church every sunday but never did we think she was so dedicated .

It is our believe that she knowing we both give to and support charities assumed as she is a close friend we would give her every support .

Problem being other than not being asked personally *she lives 90 miles away * our charity work has never been in support of any group or organisation connected with a religion or political party .


Am i overrecting by being offended on the asumption by a friend that we would support a project being taken by her that is obviously near and dear to her heart . when the views shared in this house are dimectrically opposed to the ones she holds .??


I dont pray and dont agree that the chinese need a good dose of jesus to set them on the right road buddism, taoism islam and other beliefs seem to be accepted by the population i quess the idea is to treat them like the native indians of our past and remove any trace of religious doctrin except it being christianity .


I dont think i should have to explain lack of belief in a deity to her as the reason we declined her request for support . will it put strain on a friendship ?? who knows


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I'd feel much the same, dump it in the trash and forget about it.
Not worth the concern John.

Easily done when its a form letter soliciting funds from you and you dont personally know the sender , in cases like that I sometimes (if they send a SAE) send it back empty

We had a similar thing a couple of years back. A teenager we know decided to go to Russia and take Jesus to these poor people who had never known Jesus because of communism. We had the form letter and numbered envelope. I called and said we were a bit short and was she aware of the fact that the Russians had Jesus in their lives before America was even found.
She wasn't. She also didn't buy that we were a bit short, so i asked her aunt, who said she had told her the same thing but had also added that a job might help her raise the funds.
I suggest you say to her it's a terribly dangerous mission, what with bird flu and the like and you just wouldn't feel right financing something, even though you know it's close to her heart, that might lead to her demise. Best of luck, and remember, she began this so if the friendship fails it's on her head. She's put you in a terrible position, a position that I've found Americans have no qualms about. Comes I think from the 'Give Me NOW', mentality they're brought up with.

Like Rob says, I'd just dump it in the trash.

Doesn't matter who is doing it, it's an unsolicited selling technique and the dumping in the trash technique negates it.

I kind of think that they are aware of the concept of christianity and probably a lot of the details and if it was important to them personally then they would do something about it. It is similatr to when I lived in Utah and kept getting the mormons banging on my door, they never, even once conceived that if I was interested in the Church I would have asked.

John, it was the missionary who put the strain on the relationship, not you. You do not owe any response but if you want to minimize the strain, send her a note. There are several legitimate reasons you could use if you want. The one that would discourage me, even if if I was religious, is that I don't support people who want to be martyrs. The chinese don't like missionaries, they allow established Christianity but not proselytizing.

I'm not sure that I prefer the direct approach though, I would hate to receive a phone call asking for contributions. It's highly likely that the professional beggars at the church told them not to; they want you to feel the guilt.

Whichever way you do it, you should not feel the guilt, that is hers.

Give her a dollar and an English to Mandarin dictionary.

If you do that they will start a mission on your street. (which is a bloody sight cheaper than going to China) but might not be as much fun.

I beleive in being straight. I would write back saying (as is your case) that you only provide donations for causes you reflect your personal views. You could wish them luck if you wanted to with a clear conscience. It would be hypocritical to donate money to something you don't agree with. I don't think people are looking for an argument - they'll leave you alone and go bother someone else.

Had that happen too
Circular filing cabinet regards . . .

Ignoring it its best. Writing a note may make the situation more awkward. I have always ignored these and no-one has taken offence. If she is worried about your lack of support, she'll ask.

I agree. By writing a message you will most likely offend.

I was placed in a similar position by a local church, that sent me a years worth of contribution envelopes. Just tossed them in the garbage.

I can see how being in a small Texan town might be different. But stand by your gut feel.

Ask her whether she will contribute to your holiday fund.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

You know, maybe you should forward all those chain and spam emails and annoying links to funnies you've already seen 20 times people send you, to keep her amused in the long dark nights of her mission..... 8)

.....especially ones containing links to pages of missionary jokes lol