British Expatriate Network

A while ago, I posted a thread called 'Completely Different' asking what things about US or your adopted homeland was totally different to what you expected.

But what about the other way around? After awhile in your new home is there anything that gobsmacks you or surprises you when you return after being away for awhile. I have a few.

1/ Cold and damp. Even though I grew up there and spent a decade in assorted accomodation in London, I went back to Britain in winter (Dec/Jan) for the first time in about 8 years and for the first few days I froze. Even though I live in a climate where -20c isn't uncommon I just felt I couldn't get warm even though it was about +1c there.

On my first day I sat for about 20 minutes with my back leaning against a radiator.

I also was unused to the heat going off (as it did in my brother's house) at about 10pm, so that by 1am the room had all the protection from the cold of a bus shelter and I could see my breath in the air. It's a mixture of damp cold, sporadic heating and little insulation I suppose.

But after about three days I was completely used to it and even went through snow and -5 in Amsterdam without suffering too much. It was just the initial shock.

2/ Supermarkets. Every time I go back now, my jaw drops the first few times I visit  a British supermarket. Even the Somerfield in Willesden excites me (much to the scepticism of my British friends) All those prepared foods - and variety of them - taramasalata salads with greek olive bread, chicken tikka sandwiches etc. and all the services that are available - newspapers, magazines, CDs etc. Not to mention all the things you've missed. If I go to an M&S foodhall I have to be revived with smelling salts.

3/ Public drunkedness, fights. A few years ago I took my then 12-year-old nephew out to see a film and saw a very nasty glassing of an innocent bystander on Leicester Square (the culprits were all young business guys in suits too). What shocked me even more was that neither my nephew, nor anyone else batted an eyelid. "Happens all the time" he murmured. I think it's also sad that my 15-year-old niece won't get an I-pod because she thinks she'll be mugged for it. I was also recently inadvertantly on the booze cruise ferry from Calais, featuring completely inebriated Brits terrorising one deck of the ferry (near bewildered French families) and shouting things like "It's so-o-o funny. Baz has just been sick off the side!" . What I may have got used to at one time over there now shocks me.

4/ How green the grass is. This is particularly stunning if I go in winter or early Spring when the grass in this part of the world is either brown or covered in slush/ice/snow/ etc. But even when the grass is green here, it's still so much greener there. The grass is also coarser and I immediately notice things I never normally would like dandelions, daisies and buttercups. The grass in Ireland is even greener and taking a train past the tulip fields in the Netherlands burns right into my retina.

5/ TV advertising. There's lots of rubbish ads there too, usually voiced by someone like Simon Bates or Richard Briers, but I'm still always stunned by how much subtle, clever, stylish, funny British advertising there is is and how soft-sell it is in comparison to North America. This is slightly countered by how much the sheer volume of advertising has gone up in Britain so that only the BBC seems to be the last sacred ground. I mean the Carling Apollo - do me a favour - it's the Hammersmith Odeon and that's that!

So what surprises you when you go back?

I haven't been there for a long time although I admit that I was surprised by ASDA and Sainsbury's.
When I first went back it was the body odor that got to me, I suppose i was used to it before I left. I hasten to say that this was late sixties, things improved after that.

Your remark about the Hammersmith Odeon being the Carling Apollo prompted me to look for the Gaumont State, Kilburn, it's a Mecca Bingo hall, but I was glad to see that the Bush Empire is still the same. I went to see Max Miller there, and Phyllis Dixie. The old people here may remember those names.

Last time I went back was in 1982 and what stands out was how cold my mothers place was, except in the living room. Also no hot water from the tap except Monday (washday) and Friday (bathday). The bedsheets felt damp. This was at the begining of November.

I was so glad to return after 7 days there.

I did stay over at the Heathrow Sheraton on the way back from Portugal in January 1995. A very nice hotel and warm.

The first thing that surprises me are the amount of 12-15 year old kids smoking out in public. I'm sure it's the same here in WNY but to see it absolutely everywhere is weird. The bus station in Birdgend was filled with kiddies standing around smoking. Not to mention groups of teenagers drinking Tennents Super or White Lightning on random benches around town.

How low the sun is. I went back a few months back so it was summer. But the sun was where it is here in November.

How the same everything still is. I don't really know what I thought would be different but everything was pretty much the same. All my old mates were still dossing around the same places and still doing things that should be left in college. Hell they still go to the student bars. This last time I went back wasn't for good reasons but it was the first time that I wanted to leave as soon as possible.

Food/Dissapointments. Moving means you can't get some things. So when I was there I rushed to the market to get gravy and chips. Was nice but by the end I felt sick. I went to Tesco and got a sausage roll and Tikka slice. Again tasty but not as wonderous as I remembered. And then the kicker - chocolate. American chocolate is vile so you dream about Galaxy bars and Cadbury's Boosts and things liek that. Then you ave one and they're very dull. Because they were never really all that good.

The amount of traffic on the roads now is crazy, isn't it? I read somewhere that car ownership has doubled since 1980!

Also local shopping centers they have now.
It used to be that you'd go and do your shopping on the high street or you would take the bus on a Saturday afternoon to the town center when you wanted to shop the big department stores.

Now they look like Anytown, USA. Huge stores like Asda, Tesco, etc. and along with bowling alleys and movie theatres all in the same location.
Convenient yes, but the 'unique Englishness' seems to be disapearing fast, which makes me sad. But that's progress for you. And nothing ever stays the same, does it? I am of course, refering to my hometown, I'm sure there are many, many parts of the UK that haven't progressed? to look like it could be the 51st state!

Do enjoy the grocery stores, though. So much choice and great varieties of just about everything. I think a huge part of the great strides of the British grocery's is due to the new demographics of the UK.

Nor does anyone seem to have that old 'foreign muck' mentality of 'different' and unfamiliar foods that you would so often hear when I was growing up, not so long ago in the 60's.


Sure there's plenty more but that's all from me.

The volume of traffic and the profusion of mulit-coloured lines painted on the roads everywhere. The red ones were added after I came to the US so they still take me by surprise.

The mini-roundabouts take me by surprise as I drive along once-familiar roads only to screech to a sudden halt as one comes up out of nowhere.

The smoking in the shopping centres and the once new and sparkling indoor centres which are now old and rundown.

I envy them their leisure centres, indoor pools, dry ski-slopes etc

I used to live just west of Kilburn. I guess the Mecca Bingo hall must be a new thing since I left in 98.

I googled for the Gaumont, and the Mecca Bingo popped up.
On thinking about it, Mecca is the holiest Islamic place, and moslems are forbidden to gamble. Ithink if I was Mecca Bingo, I might change the name.

I was amazed by the amount of services available in supermarkets there.
Now I know you can pay bills, buy stamps or gift cards in the ones here but they aren't full blown Post Offices or other services.

1. the amount of sex on TV. It was probably no more or less than when we left in 2000 but after 2 yrs of bland TV, it was a shock.

2. Rubbish. Was never really aware of the amount of rubbish just lying around.

3. The amount of internet access there is, on almost every street where there is a telephone kiosk.

Having to pay to park. I don't mind if it's central Cambridge or London, but if it's in the Waitrose car park at Pidley Cum Bottom I honestly forget to "pay and display".

Narrow streets and how the sky isn't so big due to the closeness of the buildings and the height of them in towns (I realize this is probably only specific to my area/area I'm visiting)

Seeing sheep in patchwork green fields

The neatness of everyones lawns and front gardens.

How there's so many different cars there (many of which look like they got chopped off at the back end)

How the news, even the local news realizes it's talking to people who have a reading level above 6th grade.

So I googled it myself... I used to drink in the bar next door (but I can't think of the name right now, it was something written in orange and that's about all I can tell you), the restoration is something that was done right after I left obviously. The old pictures were absolutely wonderful to see, made me realise how much I miss drinking my way down Kilburn High Road.

Remember him well i was in my late teens when i first went to see the * cheeky chappy * and his brand of risque humour ( very mild by contemparary standards ) i saw him last at the chiswick empire ( no longer there last known as a furniture store) it was in the days when the music hall was in its prime with perhaps a jungling act a singer , ventriloquist , comedian , or magicianand starting of with a chorus line of nubile young ladies with a fixed smile on there heavily made up faces in a show that lasted i believe about 90 mins sometimes with a interval about half way though .he died in 63 and a lot of the modern cutting edge stand up comedians have fashioned there acts arounf his style .

One of his favourites jokes "below " i can recall went something like this ,it was banned at times by the BBC which of course coursed it to be more popular .



I was walking along this narrow mountain pass - so narrow that nobody else could pass you, when I saw a beautiful blonde walking towards me. A beautiful blonde with not a stitch on, yes, not a stitch on, lady. Cor blimey, I didn't know whether to toss myself off or block her passage.

Its been a while since i went back but the things i noticed that where differant than here .

people walking everywhere crowds of them .

Paying to park even at a small shoping center .

Narrow roads with no *tailgateing laws *if you didnt the driver behind would honk you to move up .

the dirt and filth on the streets .

Bad service almost everywhere .

Lines everywhere with folks standing patiently like little tin soldiers.

high prices (compired to US ) .

VAT in almost everything at 13% i believe .
Trains , buses full to capacity .


Wet damp weather.

And the outragious idea of charging you a fee to drive in central london cheek of it ...its my town i was born there .

All the local personable pubs i frequented now AMERICANIZED .


Smoking every where .