For those of you considering coming home, be aware that you are likely to suffer from reverse culture shock.
This is a well documented syndrome which is only difficult because it is so unexpected. When I first returned home after in depth cultural research overseas, I suffered massively from reverse culture shock, only I didn't know it then. Symptoms can include feelings of anxiety, isolation, depression, insomnia, sadness. At certain points it can feel similar to feelings of bereavement as you pine for the life you left behind.
Luckily, it doesn't last and can be helped by keeping in contact with friends overseas, but also having friends locally who have also lived overseas. Forums like this can also help. wink
Have any of those of you already home suffered from this?
That sounds like culture shock to me, that's how I felt when I first moved out here. I'll take my chances on the reverse variety. 8)
yes, it is like culture shock - only thing is that most people aren't expecting it. Add to this, there is no equivalent of an expat community around and there are very few people with whom you can talk about your overseas life - people often think you're bragging. Trick is to find other repats.
Yes I have experienced it myself.
After living as an expat in Germany with the MOD for four years I returned home and found myself in exactly that situation. I felt better when I realised that my Germany friends who had returned were feeling the same and I spent a lot of time spending weekends with them.
You are exactly right - no-one who stayed behind understands, and if they think anything at all they think you are bragging.
I never saw a truer post. I also think it was a good idea to mention it here. For me the feeling never really went away - I came to the US and was lost until I found Britnet and some real live Brit friends in the same boat. Now I'm happy again.
No-one who hasn't "been there" can really understand.
Well, when I visited, suddenly finding that all the shops are shut and the town center has cleared out at 530pm was the biggest. A lot of other things were positive 'culture shocks' such as the police actually being friendly, there actually being vegetarian food and people actually having any sense about world issues.
Has anyone else going back felt they were being blamed personally for having an inept president? I mean, its as if Brits at home think that 100% of America is being the president. Mind, I did go home in the middle of the Katrina debacle.
I have met other repats through my website and it's made an enormous difference - funnily enough, one of them is German and another used to live in Germany, though we are all repats from the UAE.
It's true, people do think you're bragging - can't really talk about having maids and 5-bed villas much!
It's true, people do think you're bragging - can't really talk about having maids and 5-bed villas much!
Well, no friggin wonder you have a reverse culture shock... :wink:
It's true, people do think you're bragging - can't really talk about having maids and 5-bed villas much!
Well, no friggin wonder you have a reverse culture shock... :wink:
Lol, exactly how we felt after leaving Saudi, the UK seemed very bleak and dismal, perhaps that's why I jumped at the US, who'd have thought Saudi had a better everything than the US,lol
It was only a problem for a few months, we soon got over it, once we started working.
This certainly rings true. I am an expat who has been living in Montreal for the past six years and the first 2 years were very difficult to adjust to living over here. I so considered returning home as i missed so much about everyday British life.
I stuck it out and when I visited the UK last year, I was even more shocked as I felt so much like an outsider and really found it difficult to fit back into British life. I really wasn't prepared for that and am glad that I didn't make the mistake of packing up and moving back to the UK from Canada.
Sure I still miss things about the UK like crazy and always will but I could not think of anything worse than upsticking it, moving back to the UK where you think the grass is greener and then end up feeling like you are in identity no-mans-land and/or realise that you were better off where you originally were.
C
Welcome britcan; )
It's true that "sticking it out" is the only way to become acclimatised. Sadly some people don't want to do that and they end up more miserable and missing out on a lot.
Where in the UK are you from? What was the hardest thing about being in Montreal for you? What's the best thing?
Hi
I am originally from Hampshire in the UK and before I moved to Montreal (my wife is from Montreal) I lived in London for 10 years.
The most difficult thing was waiting for my work permit and immigration while i was living in Montreal. It took a year and then finding a job was hell. I pretty much had to abandon my life long career in telecoms and take whatever I could get. Not speaking business french didn't help but moreso, not having "Canadian work experience" didn't help either. One thing in Canada, degrees make all the difference. Eg. an employer would hire a accounting graduate with no experience and pay them 40k a year but wouldn't hire somone with 15 years accounting experience for the same salary (this is an example, i am not an accountant). Its ridiculous. But then on the other scale, they don't recognise degrees unless they are from a canadian university.
Things I like
- Overall quality of life is better
- dining out is better
- children are more welcome everywhere, shopping malls are very baby friendly
- my 3 month old son has a canadian and british passport and will be fluent in french and italian by the time he is 4 years old (which is great if he wants to eventually move to europe)
- Canadians moan less than the brits
- Cost of housing is cheaper
- less crime (no wild youths mugging you for cellphones)
- Health care is better (+ employers give you insurance)
- Weather is better (in the summer anyway)
- Maternity leave for my wife is amazing and paid!
- Cities are cleaner
Things I dislike
- Food is outrageously expensive
- cars are expensive and there is a lack of small affordable cars
- General shopping is more expensive than uk and you feel as though Canadians are more than happy to pay alot of money for sencond rate goods
- being british/english in quebec, you are basically a second class citizen
- attitudes towards overseas work experience
- damm french/english squabbling
- no cheap airlines, both internally and internationally. In the UK you can fly all over europe for nothing, here in canada, as Air Canada is part funded by the government, they make it impossible for any private airline to compete, therefore, it is cheaper to fly to england from montreal, than from montreal to toronto
- work vacation is horrendous, 2 weeks a year, 3 if you are lucky (in the uk i had 6 weeks paid vacation)
- no marks and spencers
- beer is expensive
- the canadian dollar is worthless on the international market when you come over to the UK. Its great if you earn $60k canadian a year but then thats only about 23k in pounds. So you basically have to work about 4 times as hard to make the same money if there is a chance you will move back to the uk or retire there after working in canada.
in all, i have a love hate relationship with living here. I am sure that if i moved to Ontario in a more english environment, things would be better but overall, the grass isn't always greener. We may move back to the UK one day but for me to give up my 5 bedroom house with front porch, deck and wonderful neighbors to live in a same money equivelant 2 bedroom semi in the UK next to harry enfields wayne and waynetta, that would kill me.
As long as i can go back tot he UK a few times a year to visit, thats enough for me, for now!
Well, you have my sympathy. I have ventured into Quebec only once (I live in Massachusetts so not too far away). It felt like a day trip to France in America. Got the same filthy looks when I tried to speak in my fractured French in a Dunkin donuts or whatever it was! Still I would like to visit Montreal - it's on my list of places to go and probably no further from here than Washington DC.
There used to be a Marks and Spencers in Montreal but I suppose it has gone now.
Interesting to get your viewpoint.
Do post in Britnet Banter or one of the other forums - this is usually a fairly civilised place!
It's true that "sticking it out" is the only way to become acclimatised.
Also the only way to get arrested. :mrgreen:
It's true that "sticking it out" is the only way to become acclimatised.
Also the only way to get arrested. :mrgreen:
oh you're so hilarious.......:roll: (insert picture of Squidward here) ;)
Well, when I visited, suddenly finding that all the shops are shut and the town center has cleared out at 5:30pm was the biggest. A lot of other things were positive 'culture shocks' such as the police actually being friendly, there actually being vegetarian food and people actually having any sense about world issues.
When were you down here in Santa Cruz/Capitola? You could've called!
(Honest, it's like that here...)
Andrew :)