British Expatriate Network

I think its time to settle down and get a wife and have some kids. Never really thought it a good idea but I think this move has made me reassess things.
What I want to know is how do you go about it? In the sense of, where do you find someone to marry and what time frame should you be working with, when do you get kids, etc. etc.?

I can pull with no problem but most of the birds I hook up with are good for a laugh and a shag but you wouldn’t want to sail around the world with them. But its time to take the plunge so any advice on “relationships” and how not to get bored shitless after two shags, would be most appreciated.

OMG Moo, are you serious?
Never thought I would hear those words out of your mouth, so to speak.

There is no time frame, when you meet the right person you will know it. If you are ready for it.

The only trick to keeping from boredom is to put a lot of effort into it.

These days you can plan very easily when and if you have kids. The best way is to discuss the time frame with you prospective spouse and decide what and when you will both be ready.

If you think you will be bored shitless with a relationship I would suggest you may not be ready to settle down.
Not everyone is the marrying, family type, dont put yourself there if its not for you.

Think of the qualities you can and cannot live with before commiting to one person.
Don't look at them as what kind of partying potential they have but at what they can give long term.
Friendship I think is number one, companionship, sex is important too.
Do they enjoy doing the same things you do, are you interested in doing things they are interested in too.
It's always a compromise and it always takes 100% effort from both parties. 50/50 is not enough.

Hope this helps.

Yes, lately I've been listening to the Doves, Elbow, Athlete, Thirteen Senses etc. so it must time for that soppy stuff.

What I need to do is to expand my talent pool from the usual undergraduates, waitresses, strippers and airline hostesses. But I want to do it quick before I change my mind.

Moo, I just donated you 100 Britpoints for a "pre-wedding gift". razz Now all you have to do is find the wife!

Is today April 1st mrgreen wink


If you are serious then I'd like to say there is a very lucky young lady out there somewhere waiting for you. Good luck in your search. grin

If I was you, I'd put this mad thought out of my head and get back to doing whatever you please, whenever you please.

If you can't do that, then good luck mate and pick the one that you can't bear to let go of.

Thanks, that'll make a difference. ;)

Yeah, I am. Estate cars, Club Med holidays and teacher/parent conferences are on my horizon.

Now, I just got to figure out an appropriate venue to find one.

Moo, sweetie, it's really just like Wendl says...you just know when you meet the right person. smile Thing is, you have to be in a position to meet that person...right time and place etc., so I would suggest that you have a think about where you socialise and who with. It's unlikely that you will meet the love of your life in a strip joint....not impossible, just unlikely! wink

Maybe try the personal ads in the newspaper? I tried that route....it was a bit of a laugh and wholly unsuccessful but you never know. Also what about computer dating? Speed dating? Dinner/lunch clubs? Put the word around...we all like to play matchmaker for our single girl friends and a bit of new blood on the market!

Good luck and keep us all posted, won't you?

Smug married regards.....

Debs x smile

Is this Moo speaking? Our beloved 'shag until you drop' Moo??

I have only one thing to say.....

You can start anywhere, but concentrate first on the one(s) with whom you can have a really good conversation. Bars and such places are not always conducive to good conversation.


1. Figure out what is really important in life.
2. When you meet someone, converse with her.
2. If you enjoy the conversation, make friends with her.
3. With a friend you can have fun and talk and listen and laugh
4. If you have all or most of that, you may progress to the shagging part.


This probably won't all happen on the first day.


Good luck.

Don't shag her straight away.
Don't go for a strip-club hoochie.
Pick a bird who reads.
Pick a redhead or a sista.
If the bird is unimpressed by a British accent she's the one.

Hello Moo,
sounds like theres no more room for notches on your gold handled cane. All of a sudden, it's not worth spending an evening with some giggley bird just to spend the night. If this isn't true, you're not ready.

If you are ready, think of things that are different from what you do now, maybe a day spent trip at the zoo. Pick one of the birds who you could enjoy the day with, somewhere other than the bedroom. Go on from there. Start thinking of some who are good company. You might find some amongst the mad birds you mix with now; they might be in that scene because it's the only one in town.

I hope it works out for you.

First off, think it through again. If you have any married mates with kids, invite them all out for a pub crawl on you. See how many show up. It won’t cost you much.

As for how to meet the right one, that’s anybody’s guess. I’d recommend finding someone you consider smarter than yourself. If you’re going to spend the rest of your life losing arguments to somebody, it doesn’t hurt the ego as much.

Avoid anybody you think you’ll have to change. Either be willing to accept her as she is or walk away. She’ll change over time, but you don’t get to decide how. Accept the fact that she’ll be trying to change you from day one. They can’t help it.

As for a time frame once you’ve found somebody try this
1. First sight to engagement 5 seconds to 1 year. It all depends on how long it takes for one of you to ask and the other answer in the affirmative.
2. Engagement to marriage 1 day to 1 year. We did 6 months. It all depends on the wedding arrangements. She’ll have some very definite ideas about that.
3. Marriage to sprog production We started trying 5 years to the day after the wedding. It seemed like a reasonable amount of time to bed in and see how it would all play out without complicating somebody else’s whole life.

Be ready for compromise, sacrifice, hard work, arguments, frustration, friendship, inside jokes, and intense bouts of happiness. Best of luck.