... when you read about fellow board members wanting to return to the UK?
(This is particularly to those of you who would never dream of going back).
Are they wimps for not hacking a new way of life, for not embracing that pioneer instinct?
Are they snobs for preferring all things British? Or for rejecting "every man for himself" and solid gold materialism?
Are they foolish for not understanding the realities of life, with a "grass is always greener" mindset?
Are they...what?
Ameriscot, leave this alone it'll only upset people.
Tact is not quite your forte is it roll
I'm not scared! I'll answer you. ;)
... when you read about fellow board members wanting to return to the UK?
I feel empathy. I wanted to come over here very much but the reality was nothing like the dream. Is it ever? Even after getting over that , there were things I deeply missed. With all the changes that life brings even living in one place, one's own perceptions, dreams and realities change. Mine have changed to the extent that I no longer miss England in the same way, nor do I have a yearning to return BUT I still miss it and would still love the chance to go back (as long as I can come back here again if it doesn't live up to the dream!)
Are they wimps for not hacking a new way of life, for not embracing that pioneer instinct?
No. Wimps stay at home and think about possibly becoming in interested in considering leaving their homes. Then they don't.
Are they snobs for preferring all things British?
Some are. It's a British trait. But Americans think all things American are better too. These preferences are due to familiarity and upbringing.
Or for rejecting "every man for himself" and solid gold materialism?
There's a lot of that in the UK too.
Are they foolish for not understanding the realities of life, with a "grass is always greener" mindset?
Nope. Life experiences teach you that. To get those experiences you have to branch out and take risks. If taking a risk teaches you that life was better at home, then you've learned to appreciate and be content with what you have. If taking that same risk teaches you that there's more to life than living in a terraced house in Croydon and commuting to London, then you've learned to broaden your mind and appreciate what is out in the world.
Are they...what?
They are human.
Well said KG
It's also not just Brits that have moved to the US, many of those that move to Europe or OZ/NZ return to the UK because that is where they feel they are meant to be.
They took a chance and decided it wasn't for them. There is nothing wrong with choosing your comfort zone, where ever that may be.
Everyone has different experiences that can change their outlook on where they are in life and wether to change.
That's life.
Ameriscot, leave this alone it'll only upset people.
Tact is not quite your forte is it :roll:
MMM, just because I decided to have a hissy fit, doesn't mean we can't have a discussion :wink:
No, they are not wimps for not hacking a new way of life. But giving it a good try is important as I am sure a lot of us would agree with. Being in a country for a couple of months and deciding that is enough I personally don't believe is giving it a good try. There is nothing wrong with giving a new country a good go and deciding that it isn't for you. If you decide that a place isn't for you, then do something about it - either change the situation you are in or make plans for the future to go back or somewhere else.
If we had stayed where we were in NJ, our original plan of only coming over for 5 years would have ended up being that way. Not necessarily going home but we wouldn't have stayed where we were. Being unhappy wasn't worth it.
But you never know, might change my mind on this thought next week :D
:)
I often peruse the "other" Brit site and read the returning to UK forum. I am amazed at some of the expats (mainly the ones that go to Aus/NZ) that are so unhappy and just cannot stay. It seems they have put so much effort and time into this "dream" and then they hit reality and cant cope.
Having said that, I can understand the shock factor and lack of familiarity you can suffer but you have to give everything time and after spending all the money to ship all your worldly goods around the world they could at least give their new life a little time to adapt.
(Sorry if I wandered from the point here)
I'll answer this one too even though I'm going home
... when you read about fellow board members wanting to return to the UK?
I think good for them in that they have either made a choice or have the guts to go back when some people will no doubt tell them it was a mistake to have come over here in the first place.
(This is particularly to those of you who would never dream of going back).
Are they wimps for not hacking a new way of life, for not embracing that pioneer instinct?
I did hack a new way of life for 5 years and embraced eevrything Ameircan - I know even enjoy (well sort of) American Football
Are they snobs for preferring all things British? Or for rejecting "every man for himself" and solid gold materialism?
Snob - me, NO and I don't prefer everything British and don't think anyone would prefer everything, just some things - there are some things I will miss deeply but overall feel it is the right personal decision.
Are they foolish for not understanding the realities of life, with a "grass is always greener" mindset?
I don't think the grass is greener necessarily, maybeless brown....only kidding -there are things wrong with everywhere - if I move to another patr of Europe or Oz I'm sure not everything would be perfect - I am not walking into this blindly at all.
Are they...what?
Well, not to answer your questions directly because they really don't make sense to me but I will say this..
Personally speaking, I hardly ever look back. Let's take music for example. Aside from a few stand alone bands (Clash etc) I hardly live in a past era. I love new things, new music bands that are around now, Kasabian, The Music you name it I enjoy it because it is fresh
Taking that analogy further, I don't subscribe to the grass is greener mindset either because I have always grown my own grass.
When I see other people who are planning to move back I hope that they find what ever happiness it is that they're looking for. Be it for whatever reason they move back. Why should I care to be honest? People volunteer and share their feelings on here and we're all different. The real reasons why people want to return are unbeknownst to others, simply because no-one ever shares the whole story, is why people do what they do. And that's cool.
But back to my "never look back" I don't. When I moved here in 1990 I knew in my heart I wasn't going back. I have only been back twice, once for funeral (my Dad) and the other for a wedding (my Sister). It was nice to go back on the second trip but I went home with an open mind to see if I/we could go back (because the first trip was just very emotional), and it dawned on me that I couldn't.
Where we live I feel extraordinarily free. The life we have made we have done through hard work and nothing else, but I don't think I'd ever use words like "wimps" "snobs" or "foolish" just because the life here (or anywhere outside of their place of birth) isn't for them.
I just don't have the calling to go back to the Old Country, now, let's talk about Spain..
That said, I have to admit that I do enjoy the feeling that Julie lives just up the road, and even though for various reasons we haven't been in contact with each other, it's a good feeling to know that she is there. The same goes for Annie too.
But life is good, and I can only wish the same for others, wherever they may go.
Andrew )
Well put Andrew.
We all are lucky to have choices as to where we live and what we make of our lives is more dependent on how we accept the future rather than dwelling on the past.
Each of us have some type of bagage that we bring with us. Just don't let it take over your life.
sigh same old mantra.
Another approach why do you never wish people well when they say they are returning? It's always "me, me, me".
I assume by this logic that it is OK to move on to a third place (as Jan is doing), as long as you never turn back.
because I have always grown my own grass.
Andrew :)
:lol: :lol: Is it the real good stuff dude :D :D
:sigh: same old mantra.
Another approach: why do you never wish people well when they say they are returning? It's always "me, me, me".
I assume by this logic that it is OK to move on to a third place (as Jan is doing), as long as you never turn back.
Hey you did ask opinions from those of us that dont want to move back and Andrew gave you his opinion, what was wrong with that? :o
:sigh: same old mantra.
Another approach: why do you never wish people well when they say they are returning? It's always "me, me, me".
I assume by this logic that it is OK to move on to a third place (as Jan is doing), as long as you never turn back.
Because some when they complain about where they live return home hoping that everything will be just as they left it as if turning the clock back. They look back through rose coloured glasses. You can't turn back you can only go forward and learn from your experience. By all means go back, but don't fool yourself that you can turn back time because you preferred life before you left.
Experience makes us who we are and experience gives us wisdom. Use your experience and wisdom in a positive way and move forward in life, but not hoping that everything will be like it was before.
:sigh: same old mantra.
Another approach: why do you never wish people well when they say they are returning? It's always "me, me, me".
I assume by this logic that it is OK to move on to a third place (as Jan is doing), as long as you never turn back.
Point it out..
As far as I am concerned on the odd occasions that someone has returned and they have posted their intention on here I think I have wished them good luck too (be on the board or via PM), why wouldn't you?
I guess, for me, the thought of going back to that place just doesn't light my fire of excitement, but I would never not wish anyone well, that just wouldn't be me. But you're always going to have a discussion when people say they want to go back to the UK and naturally people are going to say why they won't or don't want to...
It has nothing to do with green grass, snobs, fools, bacon or whatever.
You know that assuming is a very bad habit to get into don't you? ;)