08-26-2004, 07:52 AM
Here are my 15 awards for the Olympics so far. Here goes...
1 - The unofficial Olympic sport is of course shagging. Which apparently happens alot at the Olympic Village. At the last Games the winning medal went to Cuba, as can be seen by a remark from Australian basketball player Michelle Trims who said "The Cubans are using up condoms as if they're about to go out of fashion." ("Baby, I'm not from Havana")So the best quote of the Games so far is this from German hockey player Christian Blunck -:
http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/world/ar...2003200263
"There are no preliminaries... Everyone gets straight to the point. After all, these are athletes in perfect physical shape. And there's no time to spare."
Dirty buggers.
2 - Biggest Gold for the Opening Ceremony. Awesome stuff, even if it did include a naked man rolling in the water and a pregnant woman with an illuminous alien baby bulge in it. Very Salvidor Dahli. Still all those lazers and dangly things rocked. And any ceremony that features Bjork is going to be good even if she did sing a very long song about a horrid suicide. Totally innapropriate no matter how good it is. She obviously won Gold for the Screaming Pixie event.
3 - Winners of the 2004 Whingers Gold medals goes to Russia. First there was Svetlana Khorkina who after missing out on the Gold called her competitors crap, and said the whole thing was fixed. I quot e"I think it’s because I’m from Russia, not from America. I’ve seen much tougher competition than her, Let’s see how long she can remain on top. Can she keep going and compete in two more Olympics like myself?" Then said the judges shouldn't concentrate on gymnastics but how much glitter you have in your hair. "The sport needs a lot of changes. It should be judged primarily on grace, elegance and beauty rather than simply on mechanical tumbling."
Then Alexei Nemov missed out on a Bronze and said "I thought I deserved a bronze. I think everything was decided in advance"
To be fair the whole crowd booed for 10 minutes at his score which seemed to be too low.
4 - Winner of Weirdo Gold goes to Misty May after revealing that her dad brought her mother to watch the Games. Her mother is dead and in an urn. Ewww.
5 - Best Celebration has to be this from French Fencer Damien Touya pretending to shoot American Keeth Smart after he just beat him.
The worst is the American swimmer (dunno his name) who did an air guitar celebration when he finished his race. What a spanner.
6 - Dullest Commentary goes to Katie Couric and Bob Costas for the Opening Ceremony. Upon seeing a Geometric Period Painting Katie mentioned how you might have seen some examples of this in Geometry class in skool. Costas chimed in by naming the only Greek mathemetician he could think of - Archimedes. Who wasn't Greek. And there was this choice interchange-:
Katie: He was in the first Olympics, but apparently he didn't do so hot.
Costas: He was probably called, "Alexander the Not-so-great".
7 - Most Rubbish Thing are the emtpy stadiums. ^ million tickets available and only half sold? Explanation givn is "these sports aren't very popular with Greeks." It's the frikking Olympics!
8 - Most Gratuitous Moment - No not Misty May and Kelly Walsh rolling around in the sand (ahem) but this unidentified Italian Water Polo player getting her swimsuit top pulled off by an Australian competitor. Bless.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=st...864173.jpg
9 - Worst Coverage has to go to NBC for the 1500 in the mens decathlon. I don't know who won because they didn't show it or say who did. In fact I don't know who else was in the entire race because the camera was fixed on a close-up of American Bryan Clay who finished in 6th or 7th. Apprently some other people ran too but I've no idea who.
10 - Winner of Handbags at 10 Paces is Michael Johnson (working for the BBC) and Darren Campbell. After Campbell failed to make the 100m and 200 finals he said it was due to tearing his hamstring. Johnson then called him a faker. He commented "I'm confused, Darren said he'd pulled his hamstring, then said he's in the best shape of my life. Then when he was asked about the relay he said 'It doesn't feel too bad now' and then he said I'm hurt. But when you pull a hamstring, you're out for six weeks - you can't run. After the second round, I felt bad for Darren coming off the track, wincing. But then he said 'I'm going to run the semi-final.' I felt like I'd been taken advantage of, as a viewer and as a supporter of Darren. That bothers me because I think he's better than that."
Campbell replied "I tore my hamstring. If they want to see the scans they can, I don't lie and I don't quit."
11 - Best Paula Radcliffe Comments go to all sorts of people. Apart from her fans arguing that she would have won Gold if she hadn't dropped out (eh?) there are her peers who try to say nice things but come off horribly. Take Denise Lewis' reaction to Radcliffe's decision to run in the 10k - "If Paula Radcliffe was my sister, I'd tell her to come home." Jeez. Or the inadvertant comment during NBC's coverage of the marathon on the shock of Radcliffe quiting - "well you'd have to say that Paula is the biggest loser here today." Er, I think I know what you meant but ouch.
12 - Biggest Sour Grapes go to the CBC Commentators for actually asking an Olympic swimmer "why do swimmers only talk to their own country and the US? Why not talk to others like Canada?" He is talking to you!! They then "invited" all athletes to please talk to them in the spirit of the Games.
13 - Dullest rule has to be not giving the Gold to the guy who actually won it in the All-Around Gymnastics Mens. Paul Hamm won it intitially, but South Korean Yang Tae Young was given the wrong difficulty rating on parallel bars. So when it was corrected he was shown to have won Gold. But he won't get it because all results are final. Even the wrong ones. How dull is that?
14 - Funniest Team - The Dream Team US Basketball team. Hilarious to watch them lose, complain, blame each other, then somehow their "low wages." Big babies is what they are.
15 - Worst Musical Entrance has to be the selection chosen for the final countries entering during the Opening Ceremony. It was Agnus Dei which is A Requiem For The Dead. Which doesn't seem appropriate at all. Pair that with Bjork's suidide song and for a minute I was getting worried.
1 - The unofficial Olympic sport is of course shagging. Which apparently happens alot at the Olympic Village. At the last Games the winning medal went to Cuba, as can be seen by a remark from Australian basketball player Michelle Trims who said "The Cubans are using up condoms as if they're about to go out of fashion." ("Baby, I'm not from Havana")So the best quote of the Games so far is this from German hockey player Christian Blunck -:
http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/world/ar...2003200263
"There are no preliminaries... Everyone gets straight to the point. After all, these are athletes in perfect physical shape. And there's no time to spare."
Dirty buggers.
2 - Biggest Gold for the Opening Ceremony. Awesome stuff, even if it did include a naked man rolling in the water and a pregnant woman with an illuminous alien baby bulge in it. Very Salvidor Dahli. Still all those lazers and dangly things rocked. And any ceremony that features Bjork is going to be good even if she did sing a very long song about a horrid suicide. Totally innapropriate no matter how good it is. She obviously won Gold for the Screaming Pixie event.
3 - Winners of the 2004 Whingers Gold medals goes to Russia. First there was Svetlana Khorkina who after missing out on the Gold called her competitors crap, and said the whole thing was fixed. I quot e"I think it’s because I’m from Russia, not from America. I’ve seen much tougher competition than her, Let’s see how long she can remain on top. Can she keep going and compete in two more Olympics like myself?" Then said the judges shouldn't concentrate on gymnastics but how much glitter you have in your hair. "The sport needs a lot of changes. It should be judged primarily on grace, elegance and beauty rather than simply on mechanical tumbling."
Then Alexei Nemov missed out on a Bronze and said "I thought I deserved a bronze. I think everything was decided in advance"
To be fair the whole crowd booed for 10 minutes at his score which seemed to be too low.
4 - Winner of Weirdo Gold goes to Misty May after revealing that her dad brought her mother to watch the Games. Her mother is dead and in an urn. Ewww.
5 - Best Celebration has to be this from French Fencer Damien Touya pretending to shoot American Keeth Smart after he just beat him.
The worst is the American swimmer (dunno his name) who did an air guitar celebration when he finished his race. What a spanner.
6 - Dullest Commentary goes to Katie Couric and Bob Costas for the Opening Ceremony. Upon seeing a Geometric Period Painting Katie mentioned how you might have seen some examples of this in Geometry class in skool. Costas chimed in by naming the only Greek mathemetician he could think of - Archimedes. Who wasn't Greek. And there was this choice interchange-:
Katie: He was in the first Olympics, but apparently he didn't do so hot.
Costas: He was probably called, "Alexander the Not-so-great".
7 - Most Rubbish Thing are the emtpy stadiums. ^ million tickets available and only half sold? Explanation givn is "these sports aren't very popular with Greeks." It's the frikking Olympics!
8 - Most Gratuitous Moment - No not Misty May and Kelly Walsh rolling around in the sand (ahem) but this unidentified Italian Water Polo player getting her swimsuit top pulled off by an Australian competitor. Bless.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=st...864173.jpg
9 - Worst Coverage has to go to NBC for the 1500 in the mens decathlon. I don't know who won because they didn't show it or say who did. In fact I don't know who else was in the entire race because the camera was fixed on a close-up of American Bryan Clay who finished in 6th or 7th. Apprently some other people ran too but I've no idea who.
10 - Winner of Handbags at 10 Paces is Michael Johnson (working for the BBC) and Darren Campbell. After Campbell failed to make the 100m and 200 finals he said it was due to tearing his hamstring. Johnson then called him a faker. He commented "I'm confused, Darren said he'd pulled his hamstring, then said he's in the best shape of my life. Then when he was asked about the relay he said 'It doesn't feel too bad now' and then he said I'm hurt. But when you pull a hamstring, you're out for six weeks - you can't run. After the second round, I felt bad for Darren coming off the track, wincing. But then he said 'I'm going to run the semi-final.' I felt like I'd been taken advantage of, as a viewer and as a supporter of Darren. That bothers me because I think he's better than that."
Campbell replied "I tore my hamstring. If they want to see the scans they can, I don't lie and I don't quit."
11 - Best Paula Radcliffe Comments go to all sorts of people. Apart from her fans arguing that she would have won Gold if she hadn't dropped out (eh?) there are her peers who try to say nice things but come off horribly. Take Denise Lewis' reaction to Radcliffe's decision to run in the 10k - "If Paula Radcliffe was my sister, I'd tell her to come home." Jeez. Or the inadvertant comment during NBC's coverage of the marathon on the shock of Radcliffe quiting - "well you'd have to say that Paula is the biggest loser here today." Er, I think I know what you meant but ouch.
12 - Biggest Sour Grapes go to the CBC Commentators for actually asking an Olympic swimmer "why do swimmers only talk to their own country and the US? Why not talk to others like Canada?" He is talking to you!! They then "invited" all athletes to please talk to them in the spirit of the Games.
13 - Dullest rule has to be not giving the Gold to the guy who actually won it in the All-Around Gymnastics Mens. Paul Hamm won it intitially, but South Korean Yang Tae Young was given the wrong difficulty rating on parallel bars. So when it was corrected he was shown to have won Gold. But he won't get it because all results are final. Even the wrong ones. How dull is that?
14 - Funniest Team - The Dream Team US Basketball team. Hilarious to watch them lose, complain, blame each other, then somehow their "low wages." Big babies is what they are.
15 - Worst Musical Entrance has to be the selection chosen for the final countries entering during the Opening Ceremony. It was Agnus Dei which is A Requiem For The Dead. Which doesn't seem appropriate at all. Pair that with Bjork's suidide song and for a minute I was getting worried.