07-12-2004, 01:32 PM
A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet.
The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Charlton are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"
Q How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?
A He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him
The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning...
"Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!"
"The cups man! Save the cups!" cries George.
"Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."
Apparently, Harry Redknapp offered to send the West Ham squad on an expenses paid holiday to Florida but they said they'd rather go to Blackpool so they could see what it's like to ride on an open-top bus.
Big Ron was caught speeding on his way to the City Ground today.
"I'll do anything for 3 points", he said when questioned.
The Nottingham Forest Chairman is considering replacing Big Ron with Steve Davis. Explaining this unusual move, he said "we don't just need points now, we need snookers!"
A man desperate at Villa's current situation decides to top himself.
In his living room, alone, he prepares to hang himself. At the very last moment, he decides upon wearing his full Villa kit as his last statement.
A neighbour, catching sight of the impending incident, informs the police. On arrival, the police quickly remove the Villa kit and dress the man in stockings and suspenders. The man, totally confused asks why.
The policeman simply replies, "it's to avoid embarrassing your family."
British Rail have decided to start sponsoring Forest. BR think they are a suitable team because of their regular points failures.
Rumour has it that Villa have got a new sponsor Tampax. The board thought it was an appropriate change as the club is going through a very bad period.
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The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Charlton are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"
Q How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?
A He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him
The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning...
"Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!"
"The cups man! Save the cups!" cries George.
"Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."
Apparently, Harry Redknapp offered to send the West Ham squad on an expenses paid holiday to Florida but they said they'd rather go to Blackpool so they could see what it's like to ride on an open-top bus.
Big Ron was caught speeding on his way to the City Ground today.
"I'll do anything for 3 points", he said when questioned.
The Nottingham Forest Chairman is considering replacing Big Ron with Steve Davis. Explaining this unusual move, he said "we don't just need points now, we need snookers!"
A man desperate at Villa's current situation decides to top himself.
In his living room, alone, he prepares to hang himself. At the very last moment, he decides upon wearing his full Villa kit as his last statement.
A neighbour, catching sight of the impending incident, informs the police. On arrival, the police quickly remove the Villa kit and dress the man in stockings and suspenders. The man, totally confused asks why.
The policeman simply replies, "it's to avoid embarrassing your family."
British Rail have decided to start sponsoring Forest. BR think they are a suitable team because of their regular points failures.
Rumour has it that Villa have got a new sponsor Tampax. The board thought it was an appropriate change as the club is going through a very bad period.
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